browser icon
You are using an insecure version of your web browser. Please update your browser!
Using an outdated browser makes your computer unsafe. For a safer, faster, more enjoyable user experience, please update your browser today or try a newer browser.

Tagged With: Favorites

In the morning

Wake up and roll around a while, considering the room from different angles. Try and imagine how it would look to various people I know. Does it look different in the mirrors, things like that. Stretch up my legs for a while and contemplate the ceiling. Then get up. Boil water for coffee and make … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: | Leave a comment

After the show

this smudged black handstamp delivers today’s coffee postmarked from last night haiku.

Categories: General | Tags: | 3 Comments

Wider and wider

My teeth are gapping. The tiny cracks between my teeth, which are perfectly normal and natural, are slowly widening as I sleep. Every morning I take a tiny tape measure and examine the progression, the continental drift of my teeth. Tiny bacteria clad in woolly mammoth skins are shaking spears and migrating slowly from molar … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: , | 3 Comments

Dog Dream

I’m in Tucson today. I was thinking how I would go there for grad school and drag the Lad with me and he and I would get a little house up in the hills just outside of the city. It would go like this: Our kitchen is painted yellow. The house is NOT filled with … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: , | 10 Comments

Legs from here to Sunday

At last, miniskirts are back in style. I and my beautiful legs have been waiting 24 years for this and yesterday we road-tested our brand new skirt in the great out of doors. I wobbled all over the neighborhood on my high-heeled boots, enviously staring at the beautiful men gliding along effortlessly in their five-inch … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: , | 4 Comments

I want to eat pie. Still.

When you see a coworker in the hall, you have to make a disparaging comment about your job. It’s like a drinking game, in that the rules are simple and it isn’t very fun. You have to say “I sure am glad it’s Friday,” or “Wish that weekend was longer,” or something on those lines. … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: | 13 Comments

Ballad for Brian Danny (a.k.a. Dick Bag, Jr.)

The Asian You I dreamt of you last night You had gotten in a fight But you used your barbed-wire bangs to win the day Today out of the blue This Chinese guy looked just like you I guess I saw the Asian you today CHORUS: Yes, I know you’re Caucasian But you do look … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: , | 7 Comments

Some thoughts on pirates vs. bunnies

From an email to Brian Danny last year: No lady loves the pirate. Reason is, the pirate will carry her off over his shoulder. A shoulder in the abdomen tends to disturb a lady’s breakfast. Then later, seasickness. And then painful deflowering. No lady likes painful deflowering, no lady whatsoever; also disturbing to her breakfast. … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: | 6 Comments

Jordan and the Easter Bunny

On Saturday night, a drunken older woman who would identify herself only as “your favorite Easter bunny” gave Michele and I two all-access backstage passes for Coachella. After checking to make sure they were not laced with a strange zombie drug or other contraband, we strapped them on and headed for the elite zone. It’s … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: , | 12 Comments


I had to call 911 because a workman busted up his arm when he broke a window. I got to wait outside for the emergency people. Cops AND an ambulance AND a firetruck. It was so exciting because everyone was handsome, even the girls. I made sure to wear my hair down before they got … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: | 7 Comments