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Highlights from 2003


2003 was as exciting as every moment of my life always is. I developed a short-lived and ultimately useless interest in anti-war activities, nearly killed myself on a rope swing, and rejoiced when the Lad and his cronies moved into an apartment only a few blocks away from me. Perhaps most importantly, though, I met Jared Leto. I think he will not soon forget my poise and charm.

Here are a few more highlights from 2003.

Nothing rhymes with “papaya scent.”
An attempt at epic poetry about showering at someone else’s house.

Me and E
I met Elliott Smith — or did I?

Didofoot reads the news
Announcing the U.K.’s new House of Liberties.

A story about getting to call 911.

Some thoughts on pirates vs. bunnies
The title of this piece pretty much says it all.

Press Conference in the Nation Of Me
On why I don’t like hugging.

Chicanery, 1996
The burro riding relay race.

Call For Papers
Picking a tattoo the old fashioned way: by asking for suggestions from strangers.

Ballad for Brian Danny (a.k.a. Dick Bag, Jr.)
Remarkably talented poem about my friend Brian.