Carthage

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January 09, 2003

Nothing rhymes with "papaya scent."

Last night I said, "You make me glow like a sparrow."

"Sparrows don't glow."

"Like the ghost of a sparrow."

"Oh, that kind of sparrow."

"You make me glow like a dead sparrow," I said, pleased.

"I try."

I showered in his shower for the first time yesterday. It was amazingly painless for a boy shower, though I did have to deal with the standard boy-shower lack of good shampoo products and the dark, boring-colored towel. On the other hand, boy towels are ginormous. I spent the whole shower trying to compose a song about how you know it's love when the girl gives in and starts bringing her own, more attractively packaged, better smelling shower gels and products into your bathroom. I kept trying to rhyme "aloe vera" with "care."

One nice thing about the Lad: it was so easy to avoid the pitfall of using the roommates' shower stuff, since I could just follow the trail of generic items until I got to his shelf. He has no brand loyalty to anything. For me, this is the equivalent of dating someone who was born without fingerprints.

Posted by didofoot at January 9, 2003 08:46 AM

Comments

garsh. Little did I know there would be a function (beyond economy) to buying safeway brand soap and conditioner. (My shampoo is not generic, but it is german. It's galled GUHL. How that is pronunced, I'm going to assume, is the same way that the flesh eating 50's horror creature is.)

Posted by: gene at January 9, 2003 10:06 AM

OH OH! GUHL rhymes with Tool and Fool and Cool.

Tee Hee

Posted by: tracy at January 9, 2003 10:54 AM

btw, didofoot, you need better soap in your bathroom -- at the sink where your food workers are supposed to wash up after using the toilet. i was disappointed in your offering of dove, or whatever.

Posted by: marc at January 9, 2003 11:18 AM

I know. I'm allergic to everything else though. my severe allergy to pretty bottled, nice smelling soaps is the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE! as in:

Your boring shampoos are the bane of my existence,
In the war of gel I am the Thane of the Resistance,
And though I see that you're ashamed of my insistence,
And no birds sing.

Posted by: didofoot at January 9, 2003 11:52 AM

the thane of cawdor, that was me.

messiah lent.

Posted by: Ian at January 9, 2003 12:15 PM

So, did you use the German shampoo or did you opt for the generic?

Also, I think that if someone can make you glow like a dead sparrow, that is saying something.

Posted by: kati at January 9, 2003 12:29 PM

oh, it was the german, i just assumed it was generic. i mean really, german, generic...what's the difference?

Posted by: didofoot at January 9, 2003 12:35 PM

Ahhh, so you thought. But now ze germans have your DNA.

Muahahahahah!

Posted by: kati at January 9, 2003 12:37 PM

I have only one hair care product (non-animal-tested Herbal Essences) in the shower, so that will also make things slightly easier. "My" shelf also includes the soap dish, but I have no claim on that. In contrast, Lily has an entire paper sack full of personal care items, just waiting to go on the shelves.

Also, my three-year position on the towel rack seems to have been usurped.

I wash my hair with Herbal Essences
Glowing sparrows have phosphorescences
Gene's hair is more lustrous than Donald Pleasance's
And my towel drips on a doorknob.

Posted by: sean at January 9, 2003 12:43 PM

I figured out Lily's b/c of her "shampoo for blondes" or whatever it was. and I figured the uber girlie stuff clogging the other shelf must be from tammy. so that left you with virtually no shampoo, which seemed right for a boy.

I'm like a detective! I'm like inspector gadget! but cleaner!

Posted by: didofoot at January 9, 2003 12:47 PM

i dunno about that.

i mean i think inspector gadget is pretty clean.

maybe not as clean as inspector speculum though.

doo da doo da doo inspect her speculum doo doo doo doo whoo hoo!

Posted by: michele at January 9, 2003 12:58 PM

Sean,
bad luck about losing your spot on the towel rack.

You've fallen prey to usurpation
Such acts occur across the nation
So find yourself a new vocation
And kick some ass.

Posted by: kati at January 9, 2003 02:30 PM

The bathroom's all pink
Except for the sink
And the fine wooden shelves from IKEA
The mirror is specked
With toothpaste that flecked
Like a cheap hotel room in Korea
My towel has no home
It drips all alone
Displaced by some apartment bully
This whole place is so femme
Moisturizers- what's the deal with them?
Even Eugene's shampoo is quite guhl-y

Posted by: sean at January 9, 2003 04:01 PM

hee hee hee.

Posted by: michele at January 9, 2003 04:05 PM

nice!

Posted by: tracy at January 9, 2003 04:16 PM

I take my hat off to you sean. There's no way to better exorcise frustrations than through limericks!

Posted by: kati at January 9, 2003 04:36 PM

pariah gent

Posted by: jason at January 9, 2003 05:02 PM

Mariah meant (what she sang about her boyfriend)

Posted by: jason at January 9, 2003 05:13 PM

kristen, i don't think most human bodies would be able to withstand the sheer volume of drugs necessary to come up with "In the war of gel I am the Thane of the Resistance." you're a quantum leap of evolution, you are.

quantum leap. now there was a television program.

i'm just kidding. i don't mean to imply that kristen uses the drugs. and quantum leap wasn't that great.

Posted by: holohan at January 9, 2003 08:09 PM

scott bakula is my god.

Posted by: michele at January 9, 2003 09:14 PM

Are you sure you don't mean "Blackula"? PLEASE tell me you mean Blackula.

Posted by: Jacob at January 10, 2003 04:30 AM

sadly no. i mean bakula. current star of some star trek show. he has a dog in it. and a way sexier version of mr. spock. did you know that mr. spock wrote devotional poetry? cause he did/does. oh yes. kristen knows all about that.

Posted by: michele at January 10, 2003 08:26 AM

Leonard Nimoy writes verses devotional
Even though Vulcans are just not emotional
Could you seduce Spock with a strong dose of rohypnol?
Love long and prosper

Posted by: sean at January 10, 2003 10:55 AM

There once was a half-man, half-Vulcan
Who preferred aloofness to sulkin'.
An alien, yes,
But less so, I profess
Than that freak who molests all those Culkins.

Posted by: Ian at January 10, 2003 12:15 PM

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