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Nothing rhymes with “papaya scent.”

Posted by on January 9, 2003

Last night I said, “You make me glow like a sparrow.”

“Sparrows don’t glow.”

“Like the ghost of a sparrow.”

“Oh, that kind of sparrow.”

“You make me glow like a dead sparrow,” I said, pleased.

“I try.”

I showered in his shower for the first time yesterday. It was amazingly painless for a boy shower, though I did have to deal with the standard boy-shower lack of good shampoo products and the dark, boring-colored towel. On the other hand, boy towels are ginormous. I spent the whole shower trying to compose a song about how you know it’s love when the girl gives in and starts bringing her own, more attractively packaged, better smelling shower gels and products into your bathroom. I kept trying to rhyme “aloe vera” with “care.”

One nice thing about the Lad: it was so easy to avoid the pitfall of using the roommates’ shower stuff, since I could just follow the trail of generic items until I got to his shelf. He has no brand loyalty to anything. For me, this is the equivalent of dating someone who was born without fingerprints.

24 Responses to Nothing rhymes with “papaya scent.”

  1. gene

    garsh. Little did I know there would be a function (beyond economy) to buying safeway brand soap and conditioner. (My shampoo is not generic, but it is german. It’s galled GUHL. How that is pronunced, I’m going to assume, is the same way that the flesh eating 50’s horror creature is.)

  2. tracy

    OH OH! GUHL rhymes with Tool and Fool and Cool.

    Tee Hee

  3. marc

    btw, didofoot, you need better soap in your bathroom — at the sink where your food workers are supposed to wash up after using the toilet. i was disappointed in your offering of dove, or whatever.

  4. didofoot

    I know. I’m allergic to everything else though. my severe allergy to pretty bottled, nice smelling soaps is the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE! as in:

    Your boring shampoos are the bane of my existence,

    In the war of gel I am the Thane of the Resistance,

    And though I see that you’re ashamed of my insistence,

    And no birds sing.

  5. Ian

    the thane of cawdor, that was me.

    messiah lent.

  6. kati

    So, did you use the German shampoo or did you opt for the generic?

    Also, I think that if someone can make you glow like a dead sparrow, that is saying something.

  7. didofoot

    oh, it was the german, i just assumed it was generic. i mean really, german, generic…what’s the difference?

  8. kati

    Ahhh, so you thought. But now ze germans have your DNA.


  9. sean

    I have only one hair care product (non-animal-tested Herbal Essences) in the shower, so that will also make things slightly easier. “My” shelf also includes the soap dish, but I have no claim on that. In contrast, Lily has an entire paper sack full of personal care items, just waiting to go on the shelves.

    Also, my three-year position on the towel rack seems to have been usurped.

    I wash my hair with Herbal Essences

    Glowing sparrows have phosphorescences

    Gene’s hair is more lustrous than Donald Pleasance’s

    And my towel drips on a doorknob.

  10. didofoot

    I figured out Lily’s b/c of her “shampoo for blondes” or whatever it was. and I figured the uber girlie stuff clogging the other shelf must be from tammy. so that left you with virtually no shampoo, which seemed right for a boy.

    I’m like a detective! I’m like inspector gadget! but cleaner!

  11. michele

    i dunno about that.

    i mean i think inspector gadget is pretty clean.

    maybe not as clean as inspector speculum though.

    doo da doo da doo inspect her speculum doo doo doo doo whoo hoo!

  12. kati


    bad luck about losing your spot on the towel rack.

    You’ve fallen prey to usurpation

    Such acts occur across the nation

    So find yourself a new vocation

    And kick some ass.

  13. sean

    The bathroom’s all pink

    Except for the sink

    And the fine wooden shelves from IKEA

    The mirror is specked

    With toothpaste that flecked

    Like a cheap hotel room in Korea

    My towel has no home

    It drips all alone

    Displaced by some apartment bully

    This whole place is so femme

    Moisturizers- what’s the deal with them?

    Even Eugene’s shampoo is quite guhl-y

  14. michele

    hee hee hee.

  15. tracy


  16. kati

    I take my hat off to you sean. There’s no way to better exorcise frustrations than through limericks!

  17. jason

    pariah gent

  18. jason

    Mariah meant (what she sang about her boyfriend)

  19. holohan

    kristen, i don’t think most human bodies would be able to withstand the sheer volume of drugs necessary to come up with “In the war of gel I am the Thane of the Resistance.” you’re a quantum leap of evolution, you are.

    quantum leap. now there was a television program.

    i’m just kidding. i don’t mean to imply that kristen uses the drugs. and quantum leap wasn’t that great.

  20. michele

    scott bakula is my god.

  21. Jacob

    Are you sure you don’t mean “Blackula”? PLEASE tell me you mean Blackula.

  22. michele

    sadly no. i mean bakula. current star of some star trek show. he has a dog in it. and a way sexier version of mr. spock. did you know that mr. spock wrote devotional poetry? cause he did/does. oh yes. kristen knows all about that.

  23. sean

    Leonard Nimoy writes verses devotional

    Even though Vulcans are just not emotional

    Could you seduce Spock with a strong dose of rohypnol?

    Love long and prosper

  24. Ian

    There once was a half-man, half-Vulcan

    Who preferred aloofness to sulkin’.

    An alien, yes,

    But less so, I profess

    Than that freak who molests all those Culkins.

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