General
Sixteen Days
cel-i-bate n. One who abstains from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows. One who is unmarried. Usage Note: Historically, celibate means only “unmarried.” Its use to mean “abstaining from sexual intercourse” is a 20th-century development. But the new sense of the word seems to have displaced the old, and the use of celibate … Continue reading
1, 2, 3, EVERYBODY!
Trying to work through my listlessness enough to respond to Jacob’s wicked cool fiction. Why so listless, though? The weather is also listless, and Maggie tells me I am more influenced by the weather than anyone she knows. I like having this distinction – any superlative is better than nothing. All I strive to be … Continue reading
1000 blank white cards.
Nobody goes to links and I understand that. But if you are my friend and cool, you should go here because I really think we should try this game sometime soon. Now here’s a nice quote from a random site which relates to Devil Bunny Wants a Ham, which I believe (without ever having played … Continue reading
Nobody sees the grannies.
“Come here,” said my coworker. “I want to see what size you are.” “Scooby Doo noise of inquiry,” I said (mmmrrrruh?) as she grabbed my waist and spun me around so my back was to her. “Fievel squeak of outrage!” I said, as she pulled out the waistband of my skirt so she could peer … Continue reading
Here, smell this nail.
Yesterday I saw a pregnant woman walking across campus. I looked at the small, quiet bulge of her stomach and thought about the tiny little fetus floating around in there who was examining her insides with bulging frog eyes and then I thought PARASITE! PARASITE! Eugh. So I guess that fantasy is over with. Now … Continue reading
Trolls for Freedom, Freedom for Trolls
“Hi,” said Frank this morning. “Your hair is dirty.” “Hi,” I said, “yes. Thank you.” KA-POW! Shrapnel. “I’ll put it up then,” I said. “You’ve made me nervous about it now.” “Don’t be so nervous all the time,” he said, “it’s fucking annoying.” As if I were some squirrelly creature he was constantly having to … Continue reading
“Throw her in. Throw her in.”
This morning I had three eggs for breakfast, and an english muffin. Then I went to Brewed and had a large coffee. When I got to work, I was hungry again. “How can this be?” I asked. “Your coffee ate your breakfast,” said Carol. “Happens all the time.” Urgh. I don’t like when my food … Continue reading
Toontown
“So,” said Kevin Toon, leaning over the remains of his lunch and my barely touched salad, “are you a thong girl or do you just skip underwear all together?” “. . . ” I said, watching the spinach dancing in his teeth. “Tell me, how long does it take you to put your clothes back … Continue reading
Blah blah blah retard.
Last night after baseball, seven of us on the large spinny thing in the playground after dark, laughing hysterically. All I can remember of the conversation, unfortunately, is “Blah blah blah retard! HA HA HA HA! Retard! HA HA! Blah retard blah blah! HOO LORD!” And then Jason, turning to Erica and quietly saying “We … Continue reading
“American girls are feathers and cream, Coming to bed so edible…”
I took a foot day yesterday and stayed home from work, partly to allow my poor abused heels time to, well, heal (wince), and partly to catch up on my Vanity Fair reading. So according to Vanity Fair, Oprah Winfrey is one of the 50 most eligible women in the world and Chelsea Clinton is … Continue reading