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“American girls are feathers and cream, Coming to bed so edible…”

Posted by on July 17, 2002

I took a foot day yesterday and stayed home from work, partly to allow my poor abused heels time to, well, heal (wince), and partly to catch up on my Vanity Fair reading.

So according to Vanity Fair, Oprah Winfrey is one of the 50 most eligible women in the world and Chelsea Clinton is a sex symbol.

It’s okay, take some time with this one.

You know, I have a lot of respect for Chelsea just for managing not to take a hot iron to her face during her adolescence. I know there was a “policy” in the “media” not to “comment” on her (those quote marks were annoying, huh?) but was there anyone who didn’t hear a “Chelsea is a dog” joke on SNL or Leno? I shudder to think what would have happened if America had gotten a gander at me when I was thirteen. Probably would have grown up to shave my head and pierce my tongue. And stayed like that.

However, no matter how much I respect her – she was at the table during the Israeli peace talks in Camp David, c’mon! What did you ever do? – I still am not to the stage where I plaster my room with posters of her and take quizzes in Seventeen to discover whether I’m her type. Marilyn Monroe, okay, that was a sex symbol. Brad Pitt, like it or not, a sex symbol. And for some of us, so is Anthony Stewart Head.

Am I wrong though? Is America really so grownup that they no longer require their sex symbols to have sex appeal? Are we really just looking for a hot cup of chamomile and a bunion massage? Let’s go to the phones…

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