Author Archives: didofoot
The Laptop Treaty of 2003
The president is pleased to announce that the long-anticipated agreement between the Nation Of Me and the Nation Of My Cowboy-Boss has finally been signed by both parties. According to this agreement, the Nation Of Me has today received a laptop, in return for which this Nation will continue to provide the Nation Of My … Continue reading
The Press Responds
This was pulled from a column by foreign war correspondent Dad, written in response to the recent hug sanctions: Dateline: Dad Nation Once again your correspondent from this peace ravaged nation has seen another attempt by the Nation of Me to usurp the Gawd given rights of the Nations of Them to engage in the … Continue reading
Press Conference in the Nation Of Me
Yesterday, the press secretary of the Nation Of Me revealed that sanctions will be placed on nearly all international hug imports. The president has declared that foreign hugs are bankrupting our reservoirs of personal space and aloofness. From now on we will accept hugs from only a few select nations. These nations include the country … Continue reading
A boring informational post
I was looking for a map of Golden Gate Park and I found this great website. It shows all the gardens and activities and memorials, with photos and a lot of information about everything. I highly recommend it to anyone who, like me, loves the park but has no idea what-all one can do there.
Some thoughts on pirates vs. bunnies
From an email to Brian Danny last year: No lady loves the pirate. Reason is, the pirate will carry her off over his shoulder. A shoulder in the abdomen tends to disturb a lady’s breakfast. Then later, seasickness. And then painful deflowering. No lady likes painful deflowering, no lady whatsoever; also disturbing to her breakfast. … Continue reading
King of the river
“Ooh, a rope swing,” said Allen, “can we stop?” I immediately caved before his toddlerish enthusiam and we beached our canoe in front of the swing. First Allen swung. Then a fourteen year old girl swung. Then a six year old girl swung. How hard could it be, I wondered? Not hard at all, as … Continue reading
Bolstered by a coffee
I woke up in a great mood this morning. Then I got to work, sat down at my desk, and immediately went to pieces. Went and cried in the stairwell for a while. Washed my face, came back to my desk, immediately went to pieces again. Left again, dripped and sniffled in Nefeli for half … Continue reading
Pedaling through spaghetti
The Man got me down today. Usually I slide through his malarky like a steak knife through salmon, but today, I admit it, friends: I got down. I have to keep in mind that these people here at Berkeley aren’t thwarting me out of some deep-seated need to thwart. They’re just people, with puppies and … Continue reading
FY02-03
It seems silly to care about someone and then never see them again just because you happened to break up, and one of you happened to get your heart broken, and you happen to not be able to see them on the street without bursting into noisy tears. To this end, I have implemented the … Continue reading
Het up and raucous
If you get too het up and raucous at the racetrack, the chaplain takes your boots until you calm down. Lord, I think I was born angry. I get hot under the collar about the darndest things. Someone better just take my boots away before I get too far.