General
Some thoughts on pirates vs. bunnies
From an email to Brian Danny last year: No lady loves the pirate. Reason is, the pirate will carry her off over his shoulder. A shoulder in the abdomen tends to disturb a lady’s breakfast. Then later, seasickness. And then painful deflowering. No lady likes painful deflowering, no lady whatsoever; also disturbing to her breakfast. … Continue reading
King of the river
“Ooh, a rope swing,” said Allen, “can we stop?” I immediately caved before his toddlerish enthusiam and we beached our canoe in front of the swing. First Allen swung. Then a fourteen year old girl swung. Then a six year old girl swung. How hard could it be, I wondered? Not hard at all, as … Continue reading
Bolstered by a coffee
I woke up in a great mood this morning. Then I got to work, sat down at my desk, and immediately went to pieces. Went and cried in the stairwell for a while. Washed my face, came back to my desk, immediately went to pieces again. Left again, dripped and sniffled in Nefeli for half … Continue reading
Pedaling through spaghetti
The Man got me down today. Usually I slide through his malarky like a steak knife through salmon, but today, I admit it, friends: I got down. I have to keep in mind that these people here at Berkeley aren’t thwarting me out of some deep-seated need to thwart. They’re just people, with puppies and … Continue reading
FY02-03
It seems silly to care about someone and then never see them again just because you happened to break up, and one of you happened to get your heart broken, and you happen to not be able to see them on the street without bursting into noisy tears. To this end, I have implemented the … Continue reading
Het up and raucous
If you get too het up and raucous at the racetrack, the chaplain takes your boots until you calm down. Lord, I think I was born angry. I get hot under the collar about the darndest things. Someone better just take my boots away before I get too far.
Spitting Mammals
“I’m really looking forward to being in Spokane with my ex-girlfriend,” said the Lad to me on the tellyphone. “She is taking me to a party on Friday night, and on Saturday we’re going to a pig roast.” A pig roast, eh? Well, now I am worried. I know how romantic a pig roast can … Continue reading
Quite a lot of Chinese booze
My cowboy boss told us this story at our staff meeting this morning: Once there were three Chinese men who were having dinner together and drinking quite a lot of Chinese booze, since that is what happens at a Chinese business dinner. As he was eating and carousing, one of the men thought he saw … Continue reading
Tardball Rules, if you care
If I’ve gotten any of these wrong, let me know. From new to old: 1. The Tricky Mark Rule: Mark may switch teams at will. He is not required to announce his allegiance at any point. 2. The Double-Bat Rule: One outfielder may wield a second bat. If the outfielder hits a ball (not necessarily … Continue reading
Living alone
Sometimes, I get out of the shower midway through and walk around dripping on things. Just to see what’s going on in the rest of the apartment. You heard it here first.