Author Archives: didofoot
“Throw her in. Throw her in.”
This morning I had three eggs for breakfast, and an english muffin. Then I went to Brewed and had a large coffee. When I got to work, I was hungry again. “How can this be?” I asked. “Your coffee ate your breakfast,” said Carol. “Happens all the time.” Urgh. I don’t like when my food … Continue reading
Toontown
“So,” said Kevin Toon, leaning over the remains of his lunch and my barely touched salad, “are you a thong girl or do you just skip underwear all together?” “. . . ” I said, watching the spinach dancing in his teeth. “Tell me, how long does it take you to put your clothes back … Continue reading
Blah blah blah retard.
Last night after baseball, seven of us on the large spinny thing in the playground after dark, laughing hysterically. All I can remember of the conversation, unfortunately, is “Blah blah blah retard! HA HA HA HA! Retard! HA HA! Blah retard blah blah! HOO LORD!” And then Jason, turning to Erica and quietly saying “We … Continue reading
“American girls are feathers and cream, Coming to bed so edible…”
I took a foot day yesterday and stayed home from work, partly to allow my poor abused heels time to, well, heal (wince), and partly to catch up on my Vanity Fair reading. So according to Vanity Fair, Oprah Winfrey is one of the 50 most eligible women in the world and Chelsea Clinton is … Continue reading
And little imaginary diapers…
Saturday we went and shivered at the beach for awhile: me, Michele, Jason, Erica. Later, we met up with Clinton Jarvis whose name has a funny story behind it, and we went for ice cream. The strange-eyed baby in the booth behind us kept turning around to give us a toothless, gooey grin, until I … Continue reading
In Which I Am Slightly Humiliated
Yesterday I fell. I was climbing around on some rocks as I am wont to do and I ran out of handholds as I am not wont to do (and did not want to do) and I fell, which I never ever do. It was downright embarrassing. As soon as I had nowhere to put … Continue reading
I’m so tired of cowards who say they want…
I’m reading Bee Season. Is that an Oprah book, does anyone know? It’s certainly popular enough. Anyway, the point is it’s sucking me in as no book has in a long time. I read for an hour before work this morning and when I finished, my brain had that pleasantly satiated feeling your body gets … Continue reading
Why I Failed Physics
Here’s how it went: Kristen: So you’re reading the L’Engle books, eh? Michele: Yep. I’m up to the ones where Meg and Calvin are grown up and have kids. Seven of them. Holy God. K: Yeah, later on Meg’s mother explains it by saying she thinks Meg didn’t want to compete with her on a … Continue reading
Squeak-squeak-squeak!
The nightmares are back. There was a hiatus there of several months when they hardly showed up and my dreams were wan, tepid little scenes from my daily life. I found that despite the unpleasantness of waking up in fear all the time, I actually missed them. My nightmares are usually intense productions with plots, … Continue reading
We screamed all over Italy.
Last night I dreamt I was driving a red convertible through Italy. I was driving along perilous cliffs overlooking Tuscan villages and the Mediterranean. These landscapes are jumbled in my mind due to the long (long, long, long) day and night I spent driving across Italy with my parents last April, the night there was … Continue reading