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In Which I Am Slightly Humiliated

Posted by on July 15, 2002

Yesterday I fell. I was climbing around on some rocks as I am wont to do and I ran out of handholds as I am not wont to do (and did not want to do) and I fell, which I never ever do. It was downright embarrassing.

As soon as I had nowhere to put my hand I thought, well, no getting around it, so I pushed a little clear of the rock face and landed pretty well. Mostly on my pride, unfortunately, but my heels also took a good beating. Now, today, they’re all swollen and I am playing it up like no tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’m going to see “Insomnia” at the Parkway. Pizza, beer, and Robin Williams beating his wife to death. Last night I saw his uncensored standup routine on HBO and he kept saying “bitches” instead of “women.” It’s a surreal thing to hear from him, once you’ve seen “Jumanji.”

When asked yesterday what is my heart’s desire I chewed thoughtfully for awhile and then said “I’d like my friends to come home.”

You hear that?

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