General
Thanks, y’all.
Yesterday, I joined Netflix. Now my laser eye project is complete. (If by “laser eye project” you mean “life.” And who doesn’t?)
That’s why the lady is a…
Yesterday my mom and grandfather came by to drop off some stuff at my apartment and we made my grandfather wait with the illegally-parked car while we hauled things back and forth. When we finished, we came out to find him ogling a young blond Marilyn-type in a tight red dress and spike heels stalking … Continue reading
Kicking is never the answer.
“Are you going to go on your ride tomorrow?” I asked The Lad at dinner last night, because I am The Stupid. The Lad had been planning to drive his motobike 1,000 miles in a day to get an obscure certification which would profit him nothing in the real world, much like a Bachelor’s Degree. … Continue reading
Danny for my sins
When Danny – monastic Danny, not Brian Austin Green Danny – left for the monastery I said “You have to come back, though, to marry The Lad and I if we ever get married. That’s how I always imagined it.” “Okay,” he said. After a pause, “You’ll never get married though, will you.” Me, “Well, … Continue reading
Blogging for a better tomorrow
Today while leaving Cala Foods I got asked for change by a ubiquitous street person. I declined in my usual manner, by shyly shaking my head while walking and half-smiling, in an attempt to communicate through mime my disinclination to part with my cash even though later my suburban white guilt would give me no … Continue reading
In which she contemplates serial insomnia
At the Exploratorium, there’s an exhibit featuring small golden fish which led me to a fascinating discovery. I found that just by pressing a button and using my incredible mind powers, I was able to make the fish start and stop swimming according to my whims. The conclusion is so obvious (though it was not … Continue reading
Picture me making a bucktoothed rodent face. Awww.
It turns out that there are people who breed guinea pigs for show. Like “Best in Show”? Everybody’s favorite mockumentary involving dogs? Except with guinea pigs. Now, I like the little rodents as well as anyone. And when I get my two (who will be male and female and named, respectively, Jupiter and Waffle), I … Continue reading
In New York, you can get Triscuits delivered.
Alittle bit drunk. A little bit fdurnk. A little biut drinuk. So here’s some birds of the Bay Area: Marbled Godwit Least Tern Black-crowned Night Heron Cinnamon Teal Bufflehead Duck You will like that, I thinkso. My friends, today in the quad at school were a couple of guys with waist-high reproductions of pictures of … Continue reading
Represent, represent-sent.
Sushi night rocked the house. Every time I get to hang out with you guys I am so happy. Awww. Enough gooeyness. Get a chatroom. So…does anyone know what the draft age is set at now? (…She asks casually. Pay no attention to the war behind the curtain.) Do you think we need to start … Continue reading
Kate Hepburn on a motorbike; let my Hepburn go.
I finally got to ride on The Lad’s motorbike this weekend. His spare helmet is too big for me so it tends to wobble around on my head a lot; I probably look like a Parkinson’s sufferer from the outside. On the first ride we took he reminded me to lean with the driver into … Continue reading