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In which she contemplates serial insomnia

Posted by on October 14, 2002

At the Exploratorium, there’s an exhibit featuring small golden fish which led me to a fascinating discovery. I found that just by pressing a button and using my incredible mind powers, I was able to make the fish start and stop swimming according to my whims. The conclusion is so obvious (though it was not explicitly stated on the experiment’s accompanying plaque): I am the god of fish.

So that happened.

Last night my schizophrenic homeless friend spent an hour (between 3 and 4 in the morning) screaming her mantra outside my apartment (“HolyshitHolyshitHolyshit…”) When I say “my friend,” what I mean is “the disembodied voice who comes along every few days to wake me up and creep the shit out of me.”

I know my only real option to stop the voice is to call the cops. But I’m reluctant to have someone thrown in the clink just because I can’t sleep. Well, I guess the other option is to go out there with some soup and a smile but Francisly she scares me.

I did try to use my mind powers on her, but it turns out she is not a fish.

You know what, if I ever have the opportunity to design a fantasy city, I will totally include a hands-on science museum exactly like the Exploratorium. Because that is seriously solid.

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