Author Archives: didofoot
Disneyland
Disneyland was, as it should be, a highly surreal experience. The peak of this is Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, in which you, as Toad, take a threatening journey culminating when you die in an explosion of dynamite. The ride then moves into a Hell room complete with small furious demons and a leering cartoon Satan. … Continue reading
When you’re right, you’re right, and you’re right.
Last night I watched The Secret of NIMH for the first time in a while. I’d forgotten how much of the Lad’s idiosyncrasies are lifted directly from that film, but I realized it all over again when, towards the end, a concrete block is magically lifted from a mud puddle and hangs in the air, … Continue reading
Happy Birthday, Lad!
Happy birthday to you, You live with my zoo, You look like Vaughn from Alias And you smell like him too! Dee dee chu, love, Kris.
I don’t want a take-back
Last night, the Lad got us free tickets from KALX to see Minnie Driver perform at the Great American. If you’re wondering whether she can sing, I’ll tell you: it is decidedly so. Are her songs interesting at all? Well, outlook does not look good there. Sure, she’s tall, she likes wearing shorts, but can … Continue reading
Didofoot Reads The News, Part 3
See Part 1, Part 2 Hotel Strikes Interrupt Sleep Of White Children: Neighborhood Outraged “With psychological warfare, they are driving the neighbors nutty,” [a neighbor] said. “That noise is not helping their cause, and it’s only destroying the life of a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. Why do they do it? To what end?” Fireball Erupts … Continue reading
The Unbearable Triteness of Being (in a relationship with me)
When we first moved in together, I frequently pretended to be a hedgehog (in order to demonstrate to the Lad what a fun pet a hedgehog could be for us). From there I moved on to being an elephant, a goat, and a yeti. I also sometimes walk up to him soberly like I have … Continue reading
See Holohan’s title. Rinse, repeat.
Another election come and gone. I console you Bush haters with this thought: America can survive this. We survived the Reagan years, after all. (Though much of Central America, tragically, did not.) Just be sure that for the next four years you are careful not to be gay, poor, a woman, or of color. And … Continue reading
Wait til I tell you what the Smurfs were about…
“What most people don’t realize,” I said, “is that Strawberry Shortcake is the modern version of an ancient Roman fertility goddess to whom strawberries were sacred.” “I thought it was a doll named after a dessert?” said whoever I was talking to. “Sure, they had to mainstream her,” I said, “but think about it: dessert? … Continue reading
A guy walks into an office and says…
This guy just walked into my office. He was about student age, dressed in student clothes, and clutching some student-type documentation, but was not actually a student. “Do you know where I can get help with Microsoft Access?” he asked. “Next door,” I said. Our office is right next to the computer guys, so we … Continue reading