Author Archives: didofoot
December coming home
My sweet peacock Allen sent us some photos of mostly Guatemala. Lord I miss that boy. Which is a little odd, considering we have pretty much been email friends most of the time I’ve known him, but he did smell awfully nice.
1,2,3,4, We don’t want your – hey, the Gap’s having a sale!
Yesterday in my Government class, the prof handed back our papers and gave us some virtual head-patting for a while, which was satisfying. Then she wrote the following in HUGE LETTERS ON THE BOARD: ITS IT’S She made us identify which was the possessive and which the contraction. “Learn it, know it,” she said. “It’ll … Continue reading
ENGLISH JOHN VS. WHITE DAN IN THE WRESTLING MATCH OF THE CENTURY
So I met another Us, who may or may not have a website for Us to inundate. He’s in my English class; his name is John; I call him English John, but not to his English face. Now he has a nickname; already, his Us-ness is clear. English John reads books. So far, he has … Continue reading
And we kept minor movie stars in the yard, as pets…
I watched the full audio commentary on “Can’t Hardly Wait,” which I guess is the obligatory activity for new DVD owners. It is a process totally without enjoyment, even when Seth Green does a fake English accent which he refuses to drop until all the other people commenting gang up and yell at him to … Continue reading
Thanks, y’all.
Yesterday, I joined Netflix. Now my laser eye project is complete. (If by “laser eye project” you mean “life.” And who doesn’t?)
That’s why the lady is a…
Yesterday my mom and grandfather came by to drop off some stuff at my apartment and we made my grandfather wait with the illegally-parked car while we hauled things back and forth. When we finished, we came out to find him ogling a young blond Marilyn-type in a tight red dress and spike heels stalking … Continue reading
Kicking is never the answer.
“Are you going to go on your ride tomorrow?” I asked The Lad at dinner last night, because I am The Stupid. The Lad had been planning to drive his motobike 1,000 miles in a day to get an obscure certification which would profit him nothing in the real world, much like a Bachelor’s Degree. … Continue reading
Danny for my sins
When Danny – monastic Danny, not Brian Austin Green Danny – left for the monastery I said “You have to come back, though, to marry The Lad and I if we ever get married. That’s how I always imagined it.” “Okay,” he said. After a pause, “You’ll never get married though, will you.” Me, “Well, … Continue reading
Blogging for a better tomorrow
Today while leaving Cala Foods I got asked for change by a ubiquitous street person. I declined in my usual manner, by shyly shaking my head while walking and half-smiling, in an attempt to communicate through mime my disinclination to part with my cash even though later my suburban white guilt would give me no … Continue reading
In which she contemplates serial insomnia
At the Exploratorium, there’s an exhibit featuring small golden fish which led me to a fascinating discovery. I found that just by pressing a button and using my incredible mind powers, I was able to make the fish start and stop swimming according to my whims. The conclusion is so obvious (though it was not … Continue reading