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Monthly Archives: March 2003

Blarney for St. Patrick’s Day: Didofoot parties with strangers

“It’s like the war in Iraq, ‘protecting the people,’ blah blah I am a liberal,” said the pipsqueak with the confidence that comes from knowing for a fact that everyone around you shares your white upper middle class Bay Area upbringing. “I’m sorry,” he said as Dr. V and the Lad and I all mentally … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: | 24 Comments

Meet the Feebles

Drugs, sex, pornography, date rape, songs about sodomy, talking rats, massacres, enormous udders. “Meet the Feebles” has it all, and more. It turns out that I can’t watch this stuff even when it’s happening to puppets. But maybe you can, and maybe you want to, and maybe I don’t want to be your friend anymore … Continue reading »

Categories: General | 7 Comments

Inflatable Supermodel is a very good (-looking) band.

They rocked the house as you can see from this nudie shot. Later, everyone at the bar stripped down to undies and took turns covering each other with the finest gin Fairfax had to offer. So come on, music lovers. Support Inflatable Supermodel so that these poor troubadors can finally afford some fucking belts. For … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: , | 1 Comment

Artemis jumps ship

Midway through the weekend, distressed at my abandonment of it, my office computer decided to go it alone and jumped ship, leaving all its obediently networked little computer friends behind. Now it is swimming through a binary sea in some confusion. No one can say where it is heading, but it remains firm in its … Continue reading »

Categories: General | 13 Comments

Beasts score out of three

Today’s junkmail was “Teen has sex with Beast.” Seriously, it’s like they know me.

Categories: General | 6 Comments

Grand Larsony

Look at the world around me: People are sad, yet I am not sad (anymore). People are ugly, yet I am not ugly. People die, yet I do not die. People are forced to take organic chemistry, yet I do not take organic chemistry. What conclusion can I draw, except that I am the origin … Continue reading »

Categories: General | 3 Comments

Beasting off

My junkmail folder today contained the subject line “Sticky Beast Sex.” Well, how could I resist? I ordered some. I expect it within five to seven working days.

Categories: General | 4 Comments

I have a sneaking suspicion that reality is taking place somewhere else.

I go to my meeting with the professor I work for, where he tells me I spell badly and I tell him he can check his own voicemail from now on then and he sticks his tongue out at me like a kid. I try not to be impressed by my ability to reduce this … Continue reading »

Categories: General | 9 Comments

Congratulate me

After over a year of trying, today I was made permanent employee of the University of California at Berkeley. No wonder I am so damn depressed.

Categories: General | 9 Comments

Pay my pain

Since my depression continues essentially unabated, I have decided to put it to work. From now on, I am Feelin’ Bad For Breast Cancer. I am looking for sponsors, so if anyone has a dollar or two to spare for this very worthy cause, please drop them my way. Every hour that you pay me … Continue reading »

Categories: General | 7 Comments