Midway through the weekend, distressed at my abandonment of it, my office computer decided to go it alone and jumped ship, leaving all its obediently networked little computer friends behind. Now it is swimming through a binary sea in some confusion. No one can say where it is heading, but it remains firm in its purpose: PUNISH DIDOFOOT. This message is so hard-wired into its thinking brain that it was practically programmed there.
“Can I see my files please?”
“No! PUNISH DIDOFOOT!”
“Well, my email? Can I check my email?”
“DIDOFOOT PUNISH DIDOFOOT! No! Ha!”
No longer networked. A lone wolf. Unable to receive the gossip of the other machines, unable to take comfort from their conversation. Unable to make itself heard. Tongueless, friendless, alone.
01011101101, computer. Today, we are wiping your brain and installing a new one. R.I.P.