Since my depression continues essentially unabated, I have decided to put it to work. From now on, I am Feelin’ Bad For Breast Cancer.
I am looking for sponsors, so if anyone has a dollar or two to spare for this very worthy cause, please drop them my way. Every hour that you pay me to feel bad is another hour of funding for breast cancer research.
Breast cancer is the number 2 killer of women in America, after I think lung cancer. I am not depressed enough to go after lung cancer though. I don’t want to die of breast cancer and I don’t want any of you to die of it either. And hey, even boys can get breast cancer (though obviously that is slightly more rare). So come on, kids. Think of my sad sad tears of sadness and open your wallets to rescue some boobs.