Tagged With: Kris & Gene
Zen Sex
Our friend comes over. “Who’s reading Zen Sex?” he asks.* “I’ll give you three guesses,” I say. “Gene?” he guesses. “No.” “Gene?” I laugh. “No.” “Gene?” “…Yes.” We both laugh. We both pause. “Really?” he says. This post was brought to you by me having two articles due tomorrow. *It was on sale for two … Continue reading
Ch-ch-changes
Since living with Gene, my habits have changed to suit his lifestyle. Here are just three examples of the old Gene and the new me: 1. Gene has long been a proponent of generic purchases; I still feel brand loyalty, but my loyalty is now exclusively reserved for Safeway Select products. I even purchase Safeway … Continue reading
A pre-emptive strike
“I really hate that ice cream you bought,” the Lad told me last night. “Yeah,” I said, “but it’s not coffee flavored like we thought; I checked.” “What flavor is it?” “It’s mocha flavored,” I said, and for the next few seconds I was treated to one of the Lad’s rare ‘you’re so stupid I’m … Continue reading
Watching Beauty and the Beast with the Lad, who was forced into it despite manly objections
“Be Our Guest” Number Me: You know, if I had an entire cast of singing, dancing flatware to charm and impress people with, I could make beautiful young girls fall in love with me too. Beast shows Belle the library Lad: [in falsetto] Oh, the books are so beautiful! Can I start organizing them right … Continue reading
Impressing the boss’s wife and other smooth moves
The Lad and I went to his office holiday party last night and had an excellent time. I know, because I woke up still drunk. Even as the gussying-up beforehand is often the best part of an event, the post-party conversation the next morning is always enjoyably illuminating. Lad: I’m trying to remember if we … Continue reading
Girlfriend’s book much, much bigger than boyfriend’s book
San Francisco resident K. Larson announced yesterday that she has begun reading The Sherlock Holmes Treasury. “This book has six hundred and eight pages,” Larson told reporters. “My boyfriend’s book only has four hundred and five, and that’s including the index.” The woman’s boyfriend is reputedly reading Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion, a dense, fact-filled … Continue reading
Lad Ball
After an excellent day spent touring the De Young and eating cake with the Woods, the Lad and I spent yesterday evening sitting near each other and reading things. Because the radiator schedule hasn’t been amended to account for the chilly evenings, I had to wrap up in my XXL flannel pajamas covered with a … Continue reading
Escaping from Escape From L.A.
Warning: This entry is chock-full of spoilers, but they’re spoilers about an old and ridiculous movie. Last night the Lad and I rented Escape From L.A., the ill-conceived sequel to Escape From New York. Like New York in the original, L.A. is now designated a prison for undesirables after an earthquake turns the city into … Continue reading
Cheeseburger/blow job
Lad: I was watching an episode of Frontline that claimed cheeseburgers and orgasms release roughly the same amount of seratonin into the brain. Didofoot: I am skeptical. Sean: Was it a gender-specific study? Didofoot: Good question, because that just doesn’t sound right to me. Sean: Whereas Gene and I are thinking, ‘Hm…cheeseburger…blow job…yes, that seems … Continue reading
The colour of tea pudding
Last night, irritated by the peaceful sleep of the Lad, I said “Why do English people call all desserts ‘pudding’?” “I don’t know,” the newly-awake Lad responded gamely. “It’s like tea, I guess. Tea the meal, I mean.” “You know what’s funny,” I said, “is that young children don’t even get to drink tea with … Continue reading