Tagged With: Dumb Kris
My favorite night
We went skinny dipping after dark. Marina sat on the edge of the speedboat and lit sparklers for us and we swam out into the black lake (heedless of the seven-foot sturgeon or other lake monsters) and performed drunken sparkling water ballets. On the far reaches of the landscape a lightning storm flashed at the … Continue reading
Weird
I think it’s weird that there’s an infinity of porn to be found on the internet and I still spend my lunch hour online-shopping for housewares. This is not my $170 cup. Because that is stupid.
First two rows may get wet
Attended my first Calshakes performance of the year last night. It must be summer. A short list of reasons why you ought to see this production of Romeo and Juliet: 1. They are not skimping on the fake blood, especially when 2. Romeo kills Tybalt by beating his head in with a chair. I was … Continue reading
Charlemagne
I’m realizing that the hand stamp you get at a bar or a show is desirable partly because of its compact nature. All your previous evening’s fun exists on the back of your hand, where you can ignore it and get on with your day. Whereas when you wake up still drunk, all you can … Continue reading
Jaws
I haven’t written here for a week because I’ve been working on my real writing. (I think of this blog as fake writing, which is weird since so far it’s the only kind of writing I show to people. Except dog journalism, which I also kind of consider fake.) But for the last 36 hours … Continue reading
An embarrassing truth
Sometimes I check Carthage for new entries, even when I haven’t written any. As if my alter ego were hard at work blogging while I am goofing off? As if someone else blogged here? I don’t know the rationale, I just do it. The embarrassing part is that I do it two or three times … Continue reading
Rilke Schmilke
If every angel is terrifying then what word is left to describe my zit?
Greatest
Kris: [Walks into living room.] Whatcha doin’? Gene: Nothing. [Googles “kristen larson is the greatest.”] Kris: [Grins soppily at him. Glances back at screen.] Wha — !?
More tales of the stupidness of me
I got a manicure yesterday. I saw a sign for $15 french manicures a couple of blocks from my house and Gene likes it and it was V Day so I figured, what the hell? Even though I knew that getting a manicure on my nails, which are resistant to all forms of polish and … Continue reading
Random confessions
For many years, I thought saying “Stamford” was just a lame way of mocking Stanford. Because you are a Cal fan, and mispronouncing Stanford’s name is maybe funny for you. I also briefly believed “gubernatorial” was maybe a mocking way to say “governatorial.” In my defense, “Berzerkly.”