General
ARRRR!
All the day long, I am as dogmeat. From the grad students: “I need a key to my office, dogmeat, and a code for the copier, and a mailbox.” From the professors: “Dogmeat, fax this for me and also I want a copy of my evaluations from the last six years.” From some staffers: “DOGMEAT! … Continue reading
Oh I just told the biggest fly.
Overheard this yesterday, from a Happy Couple: GIRL: So are you coming over tonight or not? BOY: Not sure yet. GIRL: Well I need to know, so I know whether to dress up or not. BOY: (Amused) You don’t have to dress up for me still. GIRL: (Convinced) Oh yes I do. BOY: And why … Continue reading
Crimson in clover
Fucking clit-tease Irishman GSI needs to quit going around having the attractive accent all the time and stay in his bloody lounge where he can’t drive innocent receptionists into lust-crazed frenzies. Goddammit. “Ohh, I’m SHANE, I’m from DUBLIN, potato potato shamrock pub.” Teasing BASTARD. Mrmrmrnmrnm. Mngm. No hot freaking Irishmen were harmed in the making … Continue reading
Who wants to be a jobless fucker?
Friday is my last day at the French department. Aw. BUT, I cannot start at my new job on Monday or Wednesday, due to the strike. Friday’s no good as it’s the last day of the month and the department will be crazed. So it looks like I have a week off. Whatever will I … Continue reading
Pork fried blog
I’m sitting at my desk eating potatoes in an underhanded manner. I have to hide it because a big pile of potatoes with dill doesn’t seem like the kind of snack that Boss would approve of. It’s not a tidy secretarial gnosh, it’s a full-fledged meal. Ooh busted, Boss #2 just caught me shovelling in … Continue reading
TMIF?
I appeared to have signed myself up for Applied Calculus, rather than the painless Math For Poets class I was aiming at. The sane person, knowing she damn near failed every math class she ever took and only passed Physics by copying all the equations from the hapless Jason Fong every day at lunch, would … Continue reading
Swimming in Soup, Hair Sticky
Found in my e-mail archive, from a letter to KTV: It’s raining. It gives me a warm feeling inside. I look out the window into the parking lot and think to myself, “It’s raining. God is washing my car.” It just started to hail. I looked out my window again. “God is throwing rocks at … Continue reading
We’d Make Great Pets
Okay, but my replacement receptionist has abnormally straight teeth. Her top teeth just go straight across in a perfectly-engineered line, like a little kid’s drawing where teeth are just gridwork. It was this perfect line of teeth flashing at me as she talked which helped me to understand that she is an alien. I will … Continue reading