General
Jane Austen Blog: Part I
There was once a young lady of middling fortune who, having achieved the lofty age of three-and-twenty, and possessing all the wisdom and sense which the age of three-and-twenty generally bestows, thought she could do no better than to be married at once. Accordingly, she went to her mother with the news that she would … Continue reading
Eviction Notice
A year ago I was evicted from my first Castro apartment. Now, at long last, here is my landlady’s eviction letter in its entirety. Hope that this brightens your day as much as it did mine. (The reference to paint on the computer is because I had mentioned to her that her workmen accidentally painted … Continue reading
Letter From Dan
Those of you interested in the progress of our most fascinating friend Dan will probably enjoy this slightly abridged email from him (and I hope Dan will not mind my sharing it). Once you’ve read it, kindly put your brain to work in figuring out which organ I ought to sell to raise the money … Continue reading
Talking about the Sicilian is like dancing about architecture
Last night I hung out with Frank for a bit, and as always could not resist bringing up the Sicilian. Talking about an old flame is like smoking a guilty cigarette behind the building with the guys in Shipping & Receiving. I get dizzy and I swear a lot, and I try to act aloof … Continue reading
Today I am tapioca pudding
Today I am tapioca pudding, a creamy taupe, slightly gelatinous, a slide of sugary mucus, a thickening tongue. I am a big wobbling blurp of tapioca pudding with two watery eyes peering fretfully around folds of squish, and a small blinking red light of a headache dit-dit-dit-ing, the glow just barely visible through the rapidly … Continue reading
I’ll be looking at the moon, but…
Yesterday, I got home from work and ate some cheese on toast and fiddled around with my new laptop and magically was turned invisible by an act of God. Initially, it was pretty neat. I tried taking a shower and watching the water slide off nothing. Then I watched myself drink milk in the mirror. … Continue reading
The Laptop Treaty of 2003
The president is pleased to announce that the long-anticipated agreement between the Nation Of Me and the Nation Of My Cowboy-Boss has finally been signed by both parties. According to this agreement, the Nation Of Me has today received a laptop, in return for which this Nation will continue to provide the Nation Of My … Continue reading
The Press Responds
This was pulled from a column by foreign war correspondent Dad, written in response to the recent hug sanctions: Dateline: Dad Nation Once again your correspondent from this peace ravaged nation has seen another attempt by the Nation of Me to usurp the Gawd given rights of the Nations of Them to engage in the … Continue reading
Press Conference in the Nation Of Me
Yesterday, the press secretary of the Nation Of Me revealed that sanctions will be placed on nearly all international hug imports. The president has declared that foreign hugs are bankrupting our reservoirs of personal space and aloofness. From now on we will accept hugs from only a few select nations. These nations include the country … Continue reading
A boring informational post
I was looking for a map of Golden Gate Park and I found this great website. It shows all the gardens and activities and memorials, with photos and a lot of information about everything. I highly recommend it to anyone who, like me, loves the park but has no idea what-all one can do there.