General
At ease, disease
My Figure 8 CD got leprosy, making my heart skip. Like this: I am sadsadsadsadsadsadsa — It’s a mind bender. When is a CD not a CD? When it’s swiss cheese. And how did it happen, I wonder: biological warfare? Did it happen during the CD power coup? I can’t quite bear to throw it … Continue reading
Here come old flat top
Less than 24 hours of living alone and already the books are mad at me. Why should she get all the furniture, they’re asking themselves. They’ve taken over the leather couch, no doubt inspired by the example of the foreigners I brought in from the library–mannerless infidels who get drunk and lie around open-faced like … Continue reading
A shark on beer is a beer engineer
Guy From Class: What’s that on your neck? Is that a hickey? Me: No. I fell down. GFC: [Raises skeptical eyebrow.] Me: I fell down onto a shark. GFC: You got savaged. Me: Right, ’cause it was all with the…teeth. GFC: Can’t you put some concealer or foundation or something on that? Me: No. I … Continue reading
Sweet grapes
Another Spring, another example of the Lad fleeing my society to spend a few weeks hotfooting it around Europe with a bunch of dudes. I think it’s nice for him to get some guy time, especially now that he GAY! GAY! lives with a girl fulltime and everything. While he’s gone I plan to do … Continue reading
You try everything you can to escape
I like Madonna. There, I said it. You’ve got to make him express himself, she urges me. Madonna, when you’re right you’re right, and you’re right, I say. The Lad comes home from work. “Lad,” I say. “Express what you’ve got, baby. Ready or not.” He stops in the hallway, looking rabbity. “Are you pregnant?” … Continue reading
The dog’s widow
For the last two and a half years I’ve been periodically proposing to the Lad. So far he won’t have me, though there’s many as would, but I persevere, I persevere. That’s what marriage is all about. It’ll be anticlimactic when he gives in finally but that, too, is what marriage is all about I … Continue reading
Stay with me, baby, stay
I hate being needed or relied on in any way, so what kind of girlfriend could I really be for a man who needed a big knife in his chest just to get through the day and probably required a little something extra in the way of girlfriend sensitivosity? I’m listening to said man’s posthumous … Continue reading
And even, yes, even, yes, Tamora Pierce
From home I brought books. I sold off many others to make shelf-room, and even my Arden Shakespeares, and even The Canterbury Tales which I didn’t like but might need as an English major, and even a Calvino (but I kept Henry Miller to keep Anais company, third shelf down). From home I brought Peter … Continue reading
The porn shop for girls
Yesterday I went home, Pleasant Hill home, dad and the Moms home, Molly dog home, bees in the garden home, home-cooked meal home, driving home. How can I sell my car? Afternoon sunlight plus exceeding the speed limit is gold. It made me miss the suburbs, because even though I can walk to the bagel … Continue reading
Mama Cow Man and other stories
I write in capital letters. My cursive was never good for much. Between second and third grade I switched from an experimental hippie-type classroom where we were encouraged to get on with the important business of school–in my case, reading whatever I could get my hands on, puzzling through math problems because they were interesting, … Continue reading