Author Archives: didofoot
This is the way the semester ends, this is the way the semester ends, this is the way the semester ends
Interior monologue on my way to class tonight: This is the last time I will ever walk shivering past the History building, the last time to call Michele next to the painted bench, this is the last time I will decide against getting a coffee from the cart to warm my fingers up, this is … Continue reading
In need
Do you have a copy of Orlando by Virginia Woolf? If so I would love to borrow it before Thursday. I loaned mine to a friend in my class so he could read it over Thanksgiving break and the little bounder skipped the class after the break. So now I have no Orlando for my … Continue reading
Our Lady of the Bottom
Me: Sister Mary Posterior, all us nuns have gotten together and realized that we want YOU to be our new Mother Superior. Me: Oh, girls! I’m just flabbergasted. I don’t know quite what to say. It seems much too lofty a position for your old friend Sister Posterior. Me: No, Sister. You cannot turn this … Continue reading
In search of a comma
I’ve started a list of things that are on loan to other people, because I am getting tired of waking up one morning and thinking, for example, “Hey, what happened to my copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves?” I know I loaned that to one of you, possibly Sean or Dianna, but I cannot remember … Continue reading
Wherein old dints of deepe wounds did remaine
Showdown with the dragon last night: midterms handed back in Syntax. As the prof handed me my test, I saw it: D. It flashed across my eyes like lightning, the kind of lightning that comes out before the rain starts, hisses past your ear, strikes your little fluffy rat-dog a square blow to the snout, … Continue reading
You get to drink from the firehose!
I recently made a new friend; a not inconsiderable feat considering that I do not believe in friends, or, indeed, other people. Almost immediately I began to use this friend as a verbal punching bag, calling him girl names, insulting his literary taste and skills, making fun of his font choices and so forth, because … Continue reading
Hoon?
Idly googling an old boyfriend, I was surprised to actually find him. Even more surprising was that in a picture of four very different-looking people I had absolutely no idea which one he was (although I think he’s the one in the hat). Is it time to stop googling a guy if you can’t even … Continue reading
Bottle up and explode
Part of the city exploded about an hour ago, and if that sounds dramatic, well, it was. I’m used to hearing loud street noises from high up here in my nine-storey tower of an office, so I didn’t look up at the first boom, but then as people around me started making shock-talk I glanced … Continue reading
The first missed connection I’ve ever posted
Don’t get mad, get Craigslist.