Author Archives: didofoot
Gene and I re-watch The Social Network
Me: Armie Hammer is so great. He should be in other things. Gene: Isn’t he? Me: No, he’s not actually an actor. He’s the heir to the Arm & Hammer fortune. Gene: Wait, really? Me: Hence the ridiculous name. Gene: Huh, I had no idea. Kris: Yeah, it’s on his Wikipedia page, I think. We … Continue reading
A Wednesday List
I was walking some kids home from school yesterday (in my role as a volunteer with an after-school program; I don’t just show up outside schools and hope somebody is feeling gullible that day) when one of them asked me what they’d be having for snack. I frowned, trying to remember what I’d seen on … Continue reading
Seeking Moneypenny
Sometimes I idly daydream about moving somewhere else. Today it’s London — or it was, until I started browsing around the job openings on London’s Craigslist. Holy cow, London is one pervy town. They seemed so polite! Who knew. A few examples from the Administrative Assistant section (which I only went to in desperation after … Continue reading
Twitch
There are these moments that happen sometimes. Like over the weekend, when someone was telling us that he impresses his friends with his computer skills because he can “go into a program” and can burn CDs. I was listening to this guy but I was watching Gene’s face, which was also listening very politely, except … Continue reading
The Whole New Shirt Olympics
Gold medal: Rummaging through your rag bin and finding a perfectly good shirt that you tossed in there two years ago because you decided it looked bad on you. The good news: you were wrong. It’s like getting a whole new shirt! Silver medal: Finally tidying up the pile of clothes on your closet floor … Continue reading
Home Alone
I read a chapter of Mansfield Park out loud in my best British accent (think Winona Ryder’s accent in Dracula). I sing the last three lines of “Unforgettable” over and over because that’s the only part I know. I play M.I.A.’s “Bad Girls” on repeat about 60 times because I am enjoying it so much. … Continue reading
Panda’s
I was sitting with a kid yesterday while she did her homework and I noticed a piece of paper in her binder that showed a picture of a panda under the caption “PANDA’S ARE AWESOME!!!!” “Did you make this?” I asked, picking it up to study it. “Yeah,” she said. I took her pencil away … Continue reading
Jessica Simpson: A Defense
The thing I wear that I am most often complimented on is my bright red trench coat: It’s so bright that people seem to feel a little assaulted by it. I’m not sure everyone who remarks on it actually likes it, but I … Continue reading
Skillz
While we were on the houseboat this year, Gene taught me to embroider: This is the only new skill I learned in 2012, which sounds sad now that I come to write it out, but I actually feel pretty … Continue reading
Things I’ve Got That I Love: The Tea Time Edition
This Christmas — and really the whole year — was especially rich in items to improve my afternoon tea breaks. First of all, I can hear you asking: Can anything really improve the flavor of tea? And of course the answer is no. Not because tea is great — just the opposite. Tea is the … Continue reading