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Jessica Simpson: A Defense

Posted by on January 2, 2013

The thing I wear that I am most often complimented on is my bright red trench coat:

This is a model pretending to be me.

This is a model pretending to be me, because somehow no one has ever taken a picture of me in this coat that I’ve had for the better part of a decade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s so bright that people seem to feel a little assaulted by it. I’m not sure everyone who remarks on it actually likes it, but I guess it’s the kind of thing that’s so visually intrusive that it can’t be allowed to pass without comment, like how people always seem to be walking up to pregnant ladies and saying “You are pregnant!”

These same people complimenting my coat are subsequently weirded out when I tell them that the coat is from Jessica Simpson’s clothing line. Now I could understand how this would be weird in the example I described above, with a pregnant woman. Like, if she responded to “You are pregnant!” with “Yes, I am carrying Jessica Simpson’s baby,” that would be weird. But I’m not actually sure why Jessica Simpson clothes are bad. Maybe because it’s kind of corny to wear something made under a pop star’s label? (Or is she a movie star? I don’t really know what she does, other than cause fabulous jackets to be made.) Or maybe you expect it to be kind of shoddy and trashy somehow, like it’s a costume? But I’ve had this coat forever and worn it all over the place and it’s still in great shape. Even the pockets remain un-holey, and I am really hard on pockets. So whatever else Jessica Simpson may be, she is at least always welcome in my closet.

This is doubly true since I discovered today that the only flats I can wear are also Jessica Simpson brand, and they’re awesome. They are leather and have actual padding in the sole. More to the point, they fit my weird long-toed feet, which most flats do not.

JSFlats

Anyway, I just felt like today was the day to really clear Jessica Simpson’s clothing line’s reputation here on the internet. For more than ten years I’ve been sort of wondering why I write this blog, but I think this is the post that’s finally going to give it purpose. AND I have new shoes. Kind of a red letter day for me, and also for Jessica Simpson.

4 Responses to Jessica Simpson: A Defense

  1. Sean

    Could Jessica Simpson clothes be the new sugar shoes?!?

    • michele

      ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      That’s me laughing not because you’re funny but at the very absurdity of your suggestion. Nothing will ever be the new sugar shoes.

  2. didofoot

    Why, because Sugar Shoes sent YOU something for blogging about them? I’ll have you know that the Jessica Simpson corporation has ALREADY sent me something. It’s a cease and desist letter; apparently my endorsement is negatively affecting sales. SO THE JOKE IS ON YOU.

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