Author Archives: didofoot
Emma
Last night I dreamed I was reading Emma, but things were weird. The Westons had a different name, Frank Churchill arrived way too early…finally I glanced at the cover and realized I was reading one of Penguin’s Contemporary Classics series, which slightly rewrites classic novels to make them more palatable to modern audiences. I woke … Continue reading
Explain
Kris: I live in the gay district in San Francisco. Person: What is a gay district? Kris: Well, it’s like…San Francisco is a pretty gay city, but the gay district is even gayer. Person: How can a district be gay? Kris: Well, it has a lot of gay men living there, and…there’s a big rainbow … Continue reading
Still at large
Let me begin by saying that we did not get arrested this weekend, or even pulled over, so those of you who love me so much that you were counting out rosary beads for me all weekend: thanks, and you can stop now. Jacob and Lisa’s wedding was beautiful. Gorgeous location, many tears. (Lisa cried, … Continue reading
With a capital T that stands for Tahoe
I got the new wheels smogged yesterday and was planning to head to the DMV today, but it turns out all California DMVs are closed today by edict of the Governor. Now, Schwarzenegger has hated me ever since I told him I wasn’t that into Total Recall, but I was expecting him to come at … Continue reading
Wheels up
We are vehicular! Yes, gentle readers, my intended and I are once again owners of four-wheeled motorized transport and boy, does it feel good. Owning a car feels, to me, like the essence of being an American. It’s something about having a little walled-off space that’s all your own — very different from being on … Continue reading
Orchestra
I went to see Romeo and Juliet at the San Francisco Ballet last night. Kati’s mom had to miss it, so I got to use her ticket. Wow. I always thought the cheap seats were just fine for the ballet. Sure, you’re too far away to see facial expressions, but you can see the shifting … Continue reading
Prince
Our realtor on our most recent home tour looked like a Disney prince. He was all square angles — square jaw, square shoulders — and appeared hand-drawn. I kept waiting for him to burst into song. He could rhyme “sweeping views” with “HOA dues,” “Victorian charm” with “costs a leg and an arm,” and “second … Continue reading
You snooze — do you always lose?
Last night I watched Michele and Katy take a swathe of fabric and make a dress out of it. It was pretty astonishing. I’d like to learn to sew (and pin patterns straight, and cut fabric, neither of which proved to be among my current talents) but where would I put the sewing machine? It’s … Continue reading
Crab slider
Our Dr. Doolittle neighbor works at an extremely fancy bar downtown and last night we went to visit him at work. He saved us a table by the window and when we arrived, proceeded to ply us with champagne, wine and martinis, exciting appetizers and an enormous plate of dessert samplers. All free. Just before … Continue reading
Holy bluejay!
I just glanced outside and saw my building manager standing in the yard with his hand stretched out. He stood there for a long time — thirty seconds, maybe? — until I started thinking “How long does it take to figure out it’s not raining?” And then a blue jay landed on his hand! Which … Continue reading