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Author Archives: didofoot

Adventures in herbalism

In our yard, we have a lavender mound:                 It’s in full bloom, as you can see. The bees go nuts for it. If you were an ant living on this mound you would go deaf from all the bee noise. (Actually, can ants hear? Well, the bees … Continue reading »

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She’ll try anything once. And then two or three more times.

Michele is telling Katy and me about her brother’s smoker machine, which allows you to make smoked meats. Michele: “Actually, you can smoke all kinds of stuff in it. It’s awesome.” Katy: “Like veggies and stuff?” Kris: “Anything except cherries, right?” Michele: “Oh yeah, we tried smoking cherries. They were completely disgusting. I bit into … Continue reading »

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Ego

Last night I dreamed I was acting in a high school play (yikes) and suddenly something went wrong (oh no), so Ash told me to stall the audience (eek) with a song (uh oh). So I stood downstage in front of everyone and for some reason decided to sing “At Last,” the hardest song known … Continue reading »

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Schooled

Michele: “I’m excited to see my nieces next week.” Kris: “Nieces?” Michele, truculent, already knowing what’s coming: “Yes, Kristen, my nieces.” Kris: “You only have one niece that I know of, unless your brother’s been busy lately.” Michele: “I also call my cousin’s daughters my nieces. As you know.” Kris: “But ‘niece’ is a word … Continue reading »

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After the movie

Kris: “I thought that one part was a good example of a rape joke that didn’t make the victim into the punchline.” Gene: “Oh?” Kris: “Well, you know, because there’s been all that stuff in the media lately? About rape jokes and rape culture?” Gene: “Rapists get their own culture?” Kris: “No! You’ve never heard … Continue reading »

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Mine, all mine!

We take umbrage, we get mad. We take a pee. We never give a crap. English speakers, why are we so determined to hoard the terrible things?

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Nothing new

“…the present generation tried to achieve a reputation for cleverness by decrying all that was obviously great and obviously good and by praising everything, however obviously bad, that was different.” – Elizabeth von Arnim, writing about our great-grandparents’ generation in 1922. And we thought we were so cutting-edge.

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Revenge

Last night I dropped Gene off at his motorcycle which he had left parked at Orinda BART. I was sitting in the car while he rummaged around in the back seat to collect his gear when he handed me a spoon. “This looks familiar,” he said. I took the spoon. “Yeah, I guess this is … Continue reading »

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Baby on board — not my board, sorry, this title is misleading. I am not pregnant, nobody panic.

Two of our best friends had their first baby this week! It’s such a huge deal, let’s examine how it impacts me. I was discussing the possible repercussions this will have on our regular friend hangouts with another regular hanger-outer, Jacob, the day it happened: Jacob: “What do you think this will mean for socializing? … Continue reading »

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A tiny pillow

Me: “Check it out, I found this in that box of my old toys.” Gene: “What is it?” Me: “Here, you can look at it.” Gene: “A tiny pillow with a pocket on the front.” He sticks a finger in the pocket, as I knew he would. “What’s it for?” Me: “When I was a … Continue reading »

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