Author Archives: didofoot
TMIF?
I appeared to have signed myself up for Applied Calculus, rather than the painless Math For Poets class I was aiming at. The sane person, knowing she damn near failed every math class she ever took and only passed Physics by copying all the equations from the hapless Jason Fong every day at lunch, would … Continue reading
Swimming in Soup, Hair Sticky
Found in my e-mail archive, from a letter to KTV: It’s raining. It gives me a warm feeling inside. I look out the window into the parking lot and think to myself, “It’s raining. God is washing my car.” It just started to hail. I looked out my window again. “God is throwing rocks at … Continue reading
We’d Make Great Pets
Okay, but my replacement receptionist has abnormally straight teeth. Her top teeth just go straight across in a perfectly-engineered line, like a little kid’s drawing where teeth are just gridwork. It was this perfect line of teeth flashing at me as she talked which helped me to understand that she is an alien. I will … Continue reading
Three Days to Lad
There were little white flecks in my coffee. The grad student in the office peered into my cup in a myopic kind of way and said “That’s disgusting. I can’t believe you would actually put that in your mouth and swallow it.” “Oh,” I said calmly, “I’ll swallow anything.” Pause. Big smile. The song I’m … Continue reading
And no birds sing
ME: It’s wrong, it’s wrong to go to war, it’s wrong. DAD: Well what choice do we have, then? I just don’t see another option. ME: Yeah, but isn’t that what YOUR parents said when you were protesting the ‘Nam? DAD: That was totally different, they agreed with us. ME: Grandad, what’d you think of … Continue reading
Warning: Gooey Lad Talk Herein
It’s settled. Freshman Composition, Creative Writing, and either Women in Government or Statistics. “Oh,” said Michele knowledgeably, or was it Erica? “You’re taking graph graph monkey graph.” “No,” I said, confused but firm. “I am taking statistics.” “Jason took statistics,” said Michele. “Apparently one of the questions on the test was ‘Which of these things … Continue reading
So bored I might die from it.
I don’t know if this is funny. I do know I’m just bored enough to post twice today. Anyway, yesterday Nuala and Michele and I were discussing how Nuala’s cousin, Jenn, who has a show on Canadian MTV, is considered cool and glamorous by the rest of her family. Next after her on the glamour … Continue reading