Author Archives: didofoot
“And the book includes some of my own poetry…”
“Let’s just sit and meditate for a few minutes until everyone arrives,” said my yoga teacher yesterday. A few more people straggled in; I tried not to wish I had a wall to slouch against. “Okay,” said Lawrence-call-me-Lar, “let’s begin. First of all, I always teach with all the lights off” (turns off the lights … Continue reading
Hey, I just washed that hair.
We all know smoking kills you deader than a bask of crocodiles, right? Folks who smoke are one hundred percent victims of good marketing. There is nothing that says “dumb as a bag of hammers” to me like seeing someone light up, so I’m a little disturbed by how many of my people are doing … Continue reading
“Wow,” I thought, “this skirt is so cheap!”
I got slammin’ threads at some lovely little stores called Forever 21, The Gap, and Victoria’s Secret yesterday. Oops. Here’s a fun thing to do: Go to Google and type in the name of your favorite store/clothing brand. Then type “sweatshop.” Sit back and let the fun begin! Suddenly your closet is filled with angry … Continue reading
No spring chicken
Been talking to my uncle on and off for a few days now, as he’s here briefly from Hawaii. Talks like a pirate, some favorite expressions being “aye” and “auh?” What with my preferred affirmative of “yarr,” we are like a whole crew of suburban buccaneers. (Or, spastics.) Yesterday he was telling me about how … Continue reading
ARRRR!
All the day long, I am as dogmeat. From the grad students: “I need a key to my office, dogmeat, and a code for the copier, and a mailbox.” From the professors: “Dogmeat, fax this for me and also I want a copy of my evaluations from the last six years.” From some staffers: “DOGMEAT! … Continue reading
Oh I just told the biggest fly.
Overheard this yesterday, from a Happy Couple: GIRL: So are you coming over tonight or not? BOY: Not sure yet. GIRL: Well I need to know, so I know whether to dress up or not. BOY: (Amused) You don’t have to dress up for me still. GIRL: (Convinced) Oh yes I do. BOY: And why … Continue reading
Crimson in clover
Fucking clit-tease Irishman GSI needs to quit going around having the attractive accent all the time and stay in his bloody lounge where he can’t drive innocent receptionists into lust-crazed frenzies. Goddammit. “Ohh, I’m SHANE, I’m from DUBLIN, potato potato shamrock pub.” Teasing BASTARD. Mrmrmrnmrnm. Mngm. No hot freaking Irishmen were harmed in the making … Continue reading
Who wants to be a jobless fucker?
Friday is my last day at the French department. Aw. BUT, I cannot start at my new job on Monday or Wednesday, due to the strike. Friday’s no good as it’s the last day of the month and the department will be crazed. So it looks like I have a week off. Whatever will I … Continue reading
Pork fried blog
I’m sitting at my desk eating potatoes in an underhanded manner. I have to hide it because a big pile of potatoes with dill doesn’t seem like the kind of snack that Boss would approve of. It’s not a tidy secretarial gnosh, it’s a full-fledged meal. Ooh busted, Boss #2 just caught me shovelling in … Continue reading