Tagged With: Dumb Kris
Pop quiz
If you are having mild stomach cramps, you should: A. Eat half a cheese pizza and watch Speed. B. Eat half a cheese pizza and watch Doctor Who. C. Eat half a cheese pizza and watch every episode of Very Mary Kate. I’m thinking B? Only one way to find out, I guess.
The pop-up
London was in the midst of a heat wave for the first week or so of our visit. Mind you, that didn’t stop it from dropping the occasional rain on us. Here you see me in my summery dress, protecting myself from this absurd sky-water the English insist on having: … Continue reading
Deathmeat
Gene: “I want to make those chicken things for dinner tonight.” Kris: “Wait, the ones that were frozen and then thawed and then you put them back in the freezer? No. I keep forgetting to throw those out. We have to throw them out right now.” Gene: “I think it’ll be fine.” Kris: “You can’t … Continue reading
She knew that it is very foolish.
I have a walk-in closet. Actually, if I’m honest, I have two. When we moved in, I looked at the two closets in the master bedroom and immediately began wheedling. “Don’t you think it would be a good idea for you to keep your clothes in a different room? You get up earlier than me, … Continue reading
Don’t hast.
Gene: You’re saying she likes old country and new country? That’s not possible. I don’t buy it. Kris: Don’t be ridiculous. People can like disparate kinds of music. Look at me: I like Elliot Smith and I like Kraft. Gene: The cheese? Kris: Oh. Not Kraft, Kraftwerk. I like Kraftwerk. Gene: Really. Kris: Well I … Continue reading
Baby steps
Kris: “I was looking at prices for smoke detectors online and they seem to hover in the twenty-five dollar range.” Gene: “Really? That seems high.” Kris: “Well, I found ones that are, like, seven dollars, but they’re some weird ‘kiddie’ version. No, thanks.” Gene: “…Might you mean ‘Kidde’? It’s a smoke alarm brand.” Kris: “Ohhh! … Continue reading
Weirdo
Kris: “I need a close-up photo of my face for my writing website. But I need one where I’m not wearing some kind of costume or making a strange expression.” Gene: “Has that ever happened?” Kris: “Sigh.” … Continue reading
Why Ian and Tracy will never invite me to dinner again.
Ian: I just read a book that you and Gibney have probably read. Kris: Oh, yes? Ian It’s called The Hunger Games. Kris: Yeah! So awesome, right? Ian: So badly written. Kris: What? No. Ian: Come on, you have to admit that — Kris: Augh! Why do you like everything that is bad and hate … Continue reading
You’re only as old as your conversation with your husband reveals you to be.
I got home around 4:30 yesterday and made myself a meal, since I’d sort of skipped lunch and my internal clock was all off. I was just sitting down with it at 5:00 when Gene unexpectedly came in, about an hour before he usually does. I panicked, naturally. Here I was, draped under two afghans, … Continue reading
Dressing your pig
For you loyal six readers of Carthage, I apologize for the lack of updates lately. My recent illness wore me out and all my spare energy has been going to Thanksgiving planning and trying to hit my daily word count for NaNo. It’s going well…ish. I mean, I’m on track to finish 50,000 words at … Continue reading