My uncle, on walking into my library: “Didn’t you used to have a lot of books?”
I feel this is basically an invitation from the universe to fill up those shelves, stat.
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reader, writer, unregenerate comma-splicer |
My uncle, on walking into my library: “Didn’t you used to have a lot of books?”
I feel this is basically an invitation from the universe to fill up those shelves, stat.
It began with two enormous, light-blocking weeds masquerading as trees. (Yes, I am going to spin this story a bit to make myself feel better about cutting down two plants older than I am.)
Then some men with chainsaws came and before too long we were down to one. (For the record, I won’t let just ANY strange men with chainsaws hang out in my backyard. So don’t try it.)
Then we were down to a trunk.
And then some debris.
And then glorious sun!
You can live, other trees! You can live and be free! And not grow at weird horizontal angles in a desperate attempt to escape the long shadow of the evil acacias!
WE ARE HEROES!
The end.
We played “the parlor game” last night, which Robyn says we used to play in high school but I have no memory of it, possibly because when other people were socializing in high school I was mostly roaming the darkened streets, looking deep into my own soul and hating things.
Anyway, it’s a simple game: one person names a category and everyone else has to shout out items in that category. The slowest person names the next category.
Some examples:
Kris: “Shapes.”
Gene: “Circle!”
Kati Vol: “Heart!”
Randy: “Triangle!”
Robyn: “Hole!…No.”
Robyn:“Reasons why people hate Courtney Love.”
Kris: “Fake!”
Gene: “Bad singer!”
Kati Vol: “Killed Kurt Cobain!”
Randy: “People hate Courtney Love?”
Kris: “Women who would be honored during Women’s History Month.”
Robyn: “Amelia Earhart!”
Kati Vol: “Susan B. Anthony!”
Gene and Randy: “…”
Kris, Robyn and Kati Vol, to Gene and Randy: “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
Randy: “Nascar drivers.”
Kati Vol: “Dale Earnhardt!”
Gene: “Rusty Wallace!”
Robyn: “You ASSHOLE.”
It’s funny to remember the things I was thinking last year as we were looking for a house. There was a lot of “if we have kids, this will be their room,” (or in some cases, “if we had kids, they’d have to live outside”). Not a lot of “when we get twelve people together to play Quelf, here’s the room we’ll be in,” or “this is where drunk friends can crash after one too many at Lucky 13.” And yet those last two are by far the most important uses we have for our house.
It’s a bit like wedding planning. Never having done it before, I was watching what other people did and trying to emulate it. (Luckily, Gene did not go for that, so it worked out.) And with house-shopping, the same thing: I was trying to look for what other people look for in a house, because I didn’t know how else to do it. But it turns out that for us, having a little barracks for our nuclear unit is way less important than having a giant mead hall where all our acquaintance might gather (and, occasionally, sleep it off). And fortunately for us, that is what we stumbled into.
People were baffled when we told them we’d bought this monstrosity. Several said “now you’ll have to have a boatload of kids just to fill it up.” But since we’ve been living here, we’ve found we can cram a dozen people around our dining room table to play Pandemic. We can get twenty or thirty people into the downstairs for a party and not feel crowded (especially if some of them are using the photo booth in the Harry Potter closet under the stairs). And in between the bigger events, there are so many evenings when people will come by to watch a movie or have dinner or just kind of hang around, something that happened much less often when we lived in the city.
I guess there’s more than one way to fill a house.
Driving back from the campground on Sunday (well, riding back in Jacob and Lisa’s car — thanks, guys!), we saw a billboard proclaiming that the world was probably-definitely going to end on May 21, 2011. Was it a viral marketing campaign, we wondered? Some kind of film ad? No, just the apocalypse. For reals this time.
Then again, how about you pick a year? And now I have a new favorite internet game!
We camped at China Camp State Park this weekend for Lisa’s birthday. How have I never camped there in all my years of camping? We had the best spot, way back in the forest next to a stream, with deer and raccoons wandering through the campsite periodically (and occasionally stealing a muffin, the filthy beggars). There are also great trails around the campground, and it’s near the water, and it’s only a short drive from our house. All in all, kind of perfect.
This was the most luxurious camping experience I’d ever had, because on Saturday morning Michele showed up in a short, flouncy skirt, towing a little wheeled pink box full of fresh donuts. I don’t know why every camping experience doesn’t include a pretty girl bringing you pastries in the morning. I’m going to write to my Congressman.
However, this made Sunday morning a bit of a letdown. Even though we had amazing pancakes and coffee and all, there was inevitably a moment when one of us (Adam) looked around in some confusion and demanded “Where’s the donut girl?” So easy to grow accustomed to luxury, so hard to give it up.
And now, please enjoy this HOT WOOD.
I’ve had a great couple of days with my dad this week. On the first day we went to lunch and he remarked on how nice it is to be able to have lunch with an adult child whose nose he didn’t have to wipe. He was pretty emphatic about that part. I’m not sure, but it seems like maybe nose-wiping has a high spot on my dad’s personal list of parental horrors. After this we went to buy plants, and he showed me which kinds of tomatoes he’s had luck with and what size pots to get and which dirt to buy and told me how to plant them. It was tremendously helpful, especially the part where he pushed the cart and lifted the dirt sacks I was unable to lift. Then yesterday he drove out to my house and put together the roller that our pool cover attaches to, and then showed me how to work the pool equipment.
I guess I don’t really have a point to this story, except to say my dad is pretty good.
I planted my first tomato plants today!
Annnd…now I am in a panic. The wind is so strong today, and they’re in pots. What if they blow over? They are little guys, what if the wind permanently warps their growth? I had to put them in a sheltered spot to keep them a little bit out of the wind but now they are in shade, will they be okay? What if it gets really cold tonight? Should I carry them all into the house?
Clearly I should never get a puppy.
One good thing yesterday: I finally got the teacups I’ve been crushing on for a solid year. They are silly, yes, but you know I am fascinated by novelty items. Look what they do when you pour liquid into them!
I’m hoping our landscaper will include a secret garden-type area in her design for our yard, a little room of plants with a roof of vines, where we can put a long dining table and hang some colored lanterns up. Wouldn’t these be perfect if one wanted to throw a Mad Hatter-esque tea party in such a space?