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Weird
I think it’s weird that there’s an infinity of porn to be found on the internet and I still spend my lunch hour online-shopping for housewares. This is not my $170 cup. Because that is stupid.
Sweeet.
Boys are giving me sweets today. At my cafe, the cute barrista came over at random — perhaps attracted by my divine glow from having written seven pages — and gave me a free cheesecake cupcake. (“Why is it blue?” I asked like a moron, as if I were an alien only just being introduced … Continue reading
Too Many Twinkies
I have too many options. (Suffragettes in graves around the world are rolling over restlessly, or perhaps heaving a finally-satisfied sigh.) I have only to turn on the computer to know that this is true. Because in the computer age, my office (the computer) is also my shopping mall, my newspapers and magazines, my cinema, … Continue reading
First two rows may get wet
Attended my first Calshakes performance of the year last night. It must be summer. A short list of reasons why you ought to see this production of Romeo and Juliet: 1. They are not skimping on the fake blood, especially when 2. Romeo kills Tybalt by beating his head in with a chair. I was … Continue reading
Flight
In an episode of Flight of the Conchords, Dave claims that his parents are actually just an old Indian couple he sub-lets to. “Dude, you think I live with my parents?” he scoffs. “They’ve got pictures of themselves with you as a kid,” insists a confused Jemaine. “I know,” Dave nods. “It’s creepy. I think … Continue reading
Clothespin
Time loses its usual mile markers on an airplane. This is partly because of the catnaps you inadvertently take, the durations of which are unguessable as you awake to a clockless world. And, unlike on public transit, the backs of heads surrounding you remain the same for the entire ride. Minutes and hours have little … Continue reading
Charlemagne
I’m realizing that the hand stamp you get at a bar or a show is desirable partly because of its compact nature. All your previous evening’s fun exists on the back of your hand, where you can ignore it and get on with your day. Whereas when you wake up still drunk, all you can … Continue reading
Kids: Still Endangered
The Chron is still doing its thing, I see. Today’s winner: a story about parents who accidentally kill their kids by forgetting to take them out of the car. And second prize goes to a headline: “Father Allegedly Tortured Infant Son.” I can just see the Chron reporters’ weekly staff meeting. “Okay, Father’s Day is … Continue reading
The Briny Curse (and Baby Albie)
Last week, Adam’s family’s houseboat on Lake Shasta was taken over by seven pirates. If you’re the sort of pirate who likes to live vicariously through other pirates, our pics are here and Nuala’s are here; I expect Christine and Adam’s will be along shortly.
Office
I went to the zoo this morning in search of someplace quiet to work but I guess I picked the wrong day because it was swarming with kids. At the zoo! That’s the last time I buy a chocolate bar from one of those “keep kids off the streets” programs. If they’re on the streets, … Continue reading