General
Three Days to Lad
There were little white flecks in my coffee. The grad student in the office peered into my cup in a myopic kind of way and said “That’s disgusting. I can’t believe you would actually put that in your mouth and swallow it.” “Oh,” I said calmly, “I’ll swallow anything.” Pause. Big smile. The song I’m … Continue reading
And no birds sing
ME: It’s wrong, it’s wrong to go to war, it’s wrong. DAD: Well what choice do we have, then? I just don’t see another option. ME: Yeah, but isn’t that what YOUR parents said when you were protesting the ‘Nam? DAD: That was totally different, they agreed with us. ME: Grandad, what’d you think of … Continue reading
Warning: Gooey Lad Talk Herein
It’s settled. Freshman Composition, Creative Writing, and either Women in Government or Statistics. “Oh,” said Michele knowledgeably, or was it Erica? “You’re taking graph graph monkey graph.” “No,” I said, confused but firm. “I am taking statistics.” “Jason took statistics,” said Michele. “Apparently one of the questions on the test was ‘Which of these things … Continue reading
So bored I might die from it.
I don’t know if this is funny. I do know I’m just bored enough to post twice today. Anyway, yesterday Nuala and Michele and I were discussing how Nuala’s cousin, Jenn, who has a show on Canadian MTV, is considered cool and glamorous by the rest of her family. Next after her on the glamour … Continue reading
In the snogg
When I woke up this morning, the sentence streaming over and over again through my brain was this: ‘Fraid to put your meanie and crockett in the snogg??? It sounds like spam, doesn’t it? Now even my brain is registered to receive junk mail. Here’s what else I woke up thinking: On a street across … Continue reading
And another thing…
“Good morning,” says the professor in a heavy French accent. “Good morning,” I say, in just my plain old voice. “You see,” he says, “people are so rude.” And he reads me a note one of his students has written him. I agree that it is rude. “But language comes from the body, you know?” … Continue reading
Viking in the sack
Outside my office window I’m watching a boy with no arms. He’s dressed pretty nicely for an armless boy. His shirt has all its buttons fastened and he’s wearing shoes with laces. Is it possible he put all this on using only prehensile toes and strong teeth? Then again, he’s walking with his girlfriend. Maybe … Continue reading
White Man Tagging
Is blogging just reality TV for nerds? You know my celibacy status and the names of my friends. Who are you people, anyway? Blogging is the most banal graffiti ever and the only way to make it in any way interesting is to lie. Because here is a true fact: anyone who’s actually leading an … Continue reading