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Viking in the sack

Posted by on August 1, 2002

Outside my office window I’m watching a boy with no arms. He’s dressed pretty nicely for an armless boy. His shirt has all its buttons fastened and he’s wearing shoes with laces. Is it possible he put all this on using only prehensile toes and strong teeth? Then again, he’s walking with his girlfriend. Maybe she helps him. Would it be hard not to pity someone who couldn’t dress himself? How can you have a relationship based on pity? Maybe he’s a viking in the sack though. What happens when they break up? How much harder would it be to be alone if you’re that guy?

I’ve got it good, I’m sitting here thinking. I’ve got all my arms. No one is looking out their office window at me wondering how I get my buttons fastened. No one looks the other way when they see me walking down the street, except if I have food on my face or am talking to myself.

Yep, I’m sitting here thinking, good is how I have it. It’s great to have arms and be able to play baseball and write a blog. Then I look down again at the boy, who has pulled his arms out of his sweatshirt where he was warming them and wrapped them around his girlfriend.

Stupid bastard. I wish I was in a relationship. Some people have all the luck.

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