General
Obligatory fall from grace post:
It goes a little something like this: – See the Baby in the sink. Scream. – Opt to make my pain into other people’s pleasure. Write blog about Baby in sink. – Throughout the rest of the day, insist on referring to turkey as the Baby. – Everyone else begins referring to it as the … Continue reading
Obligatory vegetarian post:
The turkey is huge, so huge that it looks like a small beheaded toddler in the sink. When I walked in I screamed “AAAAH! DAD, THE MOMS KILLED A BABY!” It’s got this little flap of wrinkled skin where its head used to be. “Ew, Moms,” I whispered, plucking (ha) at her sleeve, “it’s got … Continue reading
An obligatory holiday post:
Tomorrow, I am a cook. It is regrettable for a number of reasons. The reason it is regrettable is that I cannot cook really and the number of reasons it is regrettable is one. My most important job this year is that I have to beat on the turkey until it stops crying and plays … Continue reading
Suck eggs, Wallace, you conniving fucker.
You’ve probably seen this, most of you. Go see it again. If you plan on reading The Book, and I suggest you do read it, it’s probably best not to read the rest of this entry because I’m about to bitch about the ending. Okay? Okay. Okay, I finished it. (Finnished it.) And lo it … Continue reading
The End of an Era
It’s almost over. I pretty much knew when I started this that it wouldn’t last, because none of these relationships ever last. I jump into it, delighted, like (pardon me) a pig in shit, and wallow around for awhile until abruptly it just…ends. So it’s ending. The worst part about this is now I have … Continue reading
The Book
So I spent last night communing with The Book. The Book is cumbersome to haul about, but I do it. I read it standing up on the subway, even, flipping back and forth between the bookmark in the story and the bookmark at the back where the footnotes are. So far I am at the … Continue reading
There is, apparently, also a midterm I will not really study for. But that’s unrelated.
He finds out she’s having an affair with another man. He crashes his plane, in which she is a passenger, into her lover, intending to kill everyone. or He finds out she’s having an affair with another woman. He shakes her and threatens her and allows her to catch on fire and be horribly burned. … Continue reading
Nitwit, dictionary, me.
Last night I went to the Lad’s house to get aid on the maths. (My parents have an Australian houseguest who brought kangaroo jerky, vegemite spread and the phrase “maths.”) He was late arriving on his Machine o’Death so I sat and watched ‘The Sopranos’ for ten minutes or so with the housemates and co. … Continue reading
More like Dogmeat 95.
I saw my first Dogme 95 film last night, Italian for Beginners. Dogme 95 is a group of directors who have made a series of promises known as the vow of chastity about the films they make. I heard about Dogme 95 three or four years ago, but I never had any interest in watching … Continue reading
tired of talking, what’s the point?
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