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Suck eggs, Wallace, you conniving fucker.

Posted by on November 27, 2002

You’ve probably seen this, most of you. Go see it again.

If you plan on reading The Book, and I suggest you do read it, it’s probably best not to read the rest of this entry because I’m about to bitch about the ending. Okay? Okay.

Okay, I finished it. (Finnished it.) And lo it was the most obnoxious ending ever.

Let me sum up:

One Book.

Eight nillion story lines.

Five killion characters.

Thirteen chachillion red herrings.

Eleven hundred pages.

No resolution of anything.

Can somebody explain the moving objects? Was this the Incandenza wraith trying to indirectly communicate with his son via Stice? Can someone explain, please, the whole Hal slowly disintigrating thing, since he never took the massively annoying red herring DMZ? And why the fuck did Don Gately wind up helping Hal to dig up the head of Incandenza?

Stuff I really thought he was going to get into:

– an Interlace conspiracy with the Quebecois

– some revelation that pot really is the most dangerous of drugs

– any kind of explanation of what powers the Entertainment

In short, YEEEEEAAUGH!!!

On the other hand, I am now using the vocabulary constantly, to wit (if that’s the phrase I want) the terms ‘de-mapping,’ ‘limp’ and ‘the moms.’

This ending was totally limp.

I’m going to find Wallace and demap him.

Don’t tell the moms.

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