General
After ten minutes on hold:
“Hello, thank you for calling AOL customer service, my name is James, how can I help to make your online experience a magical one this morning?” “Well, James, I would like to cancel my magical online account.” “Heh. Okay. Let me just pull up your information.” (Takes all my information, prefacing each question with “Now … Continue reading
V Day and so on
I got attacked by a band of hippies on Sproul (a plaza, not a drug) today and was forced into taking and wearing a black armband to show my non-support of the war. I feel like an animal that’s been tagged and re-released into the wild. If you talk to me and I seem a … Continue reading
Wisdom from my Bio Professor:
On mitochondria: “The mitochondria produce ATP, which, unlike food energy, can then be used everywhere else in the cells. It’s much like using a credit card rather than an out-of-state check. ATP: It’s everywhere you want to be.” On chromosomes: “And what has always baffled me is that lesbian pornography is labeled as ‘Triple X’ … Continue reading
Now who’s calling bluff?
This entry has been deleted in case the Federal government is monitoring my website. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Everyone hates the eggheads
My English prof looks like a sketch of a human, just three hundred-odd bones stacked together haphazardly and covered with a thin net of skin to keep the mosquitos off. She comes rattling through the door in a tame suit with matching lipstick and I cower and quake in my chair like Jaime Lee Curtis … Continue reading
A Joyous Announcement
Well, we finally tied the knot. They spelled his name wrong, but other than that I think that our wedding site is just perfect.
Happy birthday, Peacock.
When I met him, he had beautiful girl hair and a guitar. He still does though. He is like twelve hundred fish, but they are rainbow trout. But he smells nicer. At the end of the fall I think he will move to New York to be with Steve. I can’t for the life of … Continue reading
Happy (early) birthday to Michele!
This is getting posted today, since I know I won’t have time tomorrow what with the participating in *actual* birthday events. Oh, and sleeping until noon. So here goes. MY FRIEND MICHELE (aka Binky the Horse, LL Cool Cat (?), Brother Tupperware, Bambam, Mama Cow Man, Muppet) You have taught me so many things over … Continue reading
This day in history
A year ago today the Sicilian dumped me on my lunch hour. We went to lunch, we argued over something stupid, we went into the King Student Union building and broke up in a conference room. I sniffled my way through the rest of the day and promised myself I wouldn’t tell anyone. “I don’t … Continue reading
worth every minute
On Thursday night, pre-Allen arrival, I was sitting in the kitchen at the Lad’s, pretending to be a cockroach. I had my index fingers pressed to the sides of my forehead and I wiggled them at the Lad’s back as he did the dishes. “So are we playing Get Out tonight?” asked the Lad. “We … Continue reading