General
Birthday Party
When we were living in Seattle in 1999, I came home from work one day to find the Lad bent over several pieces of paper covered in elaborate charts. It looked sort of like a giant family tree, but he explained that he was actually designing a webpage. The design was finished three years later, … Continue reading
Odontologists study teeth
I’m reading a book I bought at the library sale this weekend. The book is translated from Danish, and one part reads: “He was bitter that it was the forensic odontologists and not him who were the big stars…” In pencil, a previous owner has neatly crossed out that “him” and in a spidery cursive … Continue reading
I change the dictionary
Words that should not exist anymore: aggregate optimize premium Words that should exist from now on: struggly pinkle twile
Watching Beauty and the Beast with the Lad, who was forced into it despite manly objections
“Be Our Guest” Number Me: You know, if I had an entire cast of singing, dancing flatware to charm and impress people with, I could make beautiful young girls fall in love with me too. Beast shows Belle the library Lad: [in falsetto] Oh, the books are so beautiful! Can I start organizing them right … Continue reading
Aftermath
Our house after New Year’s Eve, as viewed by: Prince Humperdink and Count Rugen Prince: Someone has been beaten by a bottle of rum. The loser ran off alone and the winner was put in the pantry without a lid. Rugen: Shall we track them both? Prince: The hangover is nothing. Only the bottle matters. … Continue reading
Bring me the head of Harry Potter, and other Christmas stories
I love this holiday. For one thing I love the decorating. Like the most of families, my family will cheerfully hang on to ornaments that are cracked, ugly, or created by a five year old, purely for their sentimental value. For example, we’ve got a broken Harry Potter ornament, tragically decapitated in a fall last … Continue reading
Blogger has gotten funnier lately, but not that funny
Local blogger K. Larson has broken an unfunny streak with two recent posts, both of which were reasonably amusing, her friends report. “The thing about MUNI that she clearly invented, the quoting from Sherlock Holmes, and that one entry complaining about her phone service that she posted and then took down again right away, those … Continue reading
Impressing the boss’s wife and other smooth moves
The Lad and I went to his office holiday party last night and had an excellent time. I know, because I woke up still drunk. Even as the gussying-up beforehand is often the best part of an event, the post-party conversation the next morning is always enjoyably illuminating. Lad: I’m trying to remember if we … Continue reading
Girlfriend’s book much, much bigger than boyfriend’s book
San Francisco resident K. Larson announced yesterday that she has begun reading The Sherlock Holmes Treasury. “This book has six hundred and eight pages,” Larson told reporters. “My boyfriend’s book only has four hundred and five, and that’s including the index.” The woman’s boyfriend is reputedly reading Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion, a dense, fact-filled … Continue reading
Syntax Holmes
Yesterday I jumped into Sherlock Holmes for the first time, and ever since then I’ve been splashing around happily like a large dog looking for a thrown stick in a lake but not especially caring if she finds it. I did find this: the wind cried and sobbed like a child in the chimney. I … Continue reading