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Monthly Archives: September 2009

Aw, man.

Five hundred business cards and no business. My dog paper went under. No more job for Kris. A moment of silence for all the dog news I will no longer be bringing you. Sigh.

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FSF

After seven years in this seven-by-seven, I have at last visited the Folsom Street Fair. Meh. I was promised public masturbation, sexy leather daddies and deviance, but more than half the people there were just ordinary, boring tourists like me. Who let all these other tourists in, I’d like to know? What with me and … Continue reading »

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And whiskers on kittens

Have you ever watched a dog wake out of a dream? She simply wakes up. She can be deep in the throes of a real zinger, yelping under her breath, twitching her paws, and yet when you put a hand on her she calmly opens her eyes and is never surprised to find herself lying … Continue reading »

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Christmas already

In honor of the Market Street snowflakes, here are some lines from Christmas carols which I believe should be used in horror film previews. (This list works best if you read it in that scary deep announcer voice.) – he sees you when you’re sleeping – do you hear what I hear? – sorrowing, sighing, … Continue reading »

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Seen

I saw a woman in a burqa the other day, just her eyes peering out. Of course, she may also have been a badass ninja on her way to a fancy party. Now that would be a mighty unsettling thing to see around one’s city all the time, wouldn’t it? To be constantly walking down … Continue reading »

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The mail bunny

Our mailman is kind of the Easter Bunny of mail. There’s a short search I undertake daily for our mail: some of it goes in our locked mailbox, sure, but some can also be found in a large stack of mail that inexplicably gets left on the table in the lobby. This stack does not … Continue reading »

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Undecorate, unplan.

My resolution not to blog about it lasted exactly this long. For the last several weeks I’ve been very confused. I have other friends planning their weddings right now, and I’ve seen it done before: nobody seems to go through all the doubt and stress and general scowling that I’m going through. I’ve been assuming … Continue reading »

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Heat wave a-comin’.

Enjoy your weekend, friends.

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Breakfast

Overheard on the #24. Girl: “I’m hungry. We haven’t eaten yet.” Guy: “We’ve had breakfast.” Girl: “What’d we have?” Guy: “Pickled green beans.” Girl: “Oh, yeah.” Quietly, staring out the window: “I can’t hang out with you anymore.”

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Too soon?

Overheard at Pleasant Hill BART. First BART cop: “I swear to God, I almost shot this guy. I mean, I literally almost pulled the trigger. Wanted to.” Second BART cop, laughing: “I hear you, man. Yeah.”

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