Monthly Archives: April 2009
Jaws
I haven’t written here for a week because I’ve been working on my real writing. (I think of this blog as fake writing, which is weird since so far it’s the only kind of writing I show to people. Except dog journalism, which I also kind of consider fake.) But for the last 36 hours … Continue reading
Free lunch
The intersection at Market, Noe and 16th smells like fifth-grade lunch: chocolate milk, wet cardboard and a faint whiff of peanut butter. Maddeningly, the wind is swirling like a cyclone today, making it impossible to track this lunch-shadow to its source.
The Tuesday alarm
Every Tuesday at noon a siren wails across a series of speakers placed on street corners throughout San Francisco. And every Tuesday at noon, for as many months as this has been going on, I jump out of my fucking skin. “This is a test,” the robotic announcement says, following the siren. “This is a … Continue reading
Hot
It’s roasting in San Francisco, sweltering in our apartment. In twenty minutes I’ll be sprawled in Dolores Park consuming smelly cheeses and clandestine beer, but in the meantime I’m here, absorbed in studying the way I abandon myself to this heat. I sit with one leg curled under me, the other bent against my chest, … Continue reading
Watching Star Trek with my robot
Deanna Troi awakens from a mysterious coma. “What’s the last thing you remember?” Picard asks her urgently. She considers for a moment. “My hair,” she says. “She’s YOU,” Gene says to me in awe. “Maybe she and Data should date,” I say.
Forks road trip: the living dead
We used the bathroom and bought chips at a gas station in one of the numberless three-building towns on Highway 101. As we left, the woman behind the counter dully called out “See you soon.” See you soon? “If we were in a horror movie,” I said as we pulled away, “that would mean ‘See … Continue reading
Forks road trip: roadside assistance
On the road from Queets, Michele and I stopped to assist a woman who’d skidded her car into a ditch. Neither of us is much accustomed to offering roadside assistance so the stop had an adventurous flair. The girl who’d had the accident was large and encased in a Barbie-pink sweatshirt that featured a picture … Continue reading
Hanging out with my cousins
21st century parenting: “Take my picture!” Nolan demanded. “No, with this.” He took away Zoe’s camera and handed her the iPhone. She obligingly took the picture. “Now Facebook it,” he said. 21st century cousining: “So, do kids bring computers to school?” I asked. “No,” he said, looking up at me oddly. “What about cell phones? … Continue reading
Out in the world
Irony. Irony. Some flowers. Weird looking dog.
Save this paper?
The day I don’t see a Chronicle headline about child abuse or child murder will be the day I know the paper has finally gone under. I have an idea for how to save our fast-dying daily: give it a new tagline. Some suggestions: The San Francisco Chronicle: ferreting out every grisly story about bad … Continue reading