Every Tuesday at noon a siren wails across a series of speakers placed on street corners throughout San Francisco. And every Tuesday at noon, for as many months as this has been going on, I jump out of my fucking skin.
“This is a test,” the robotic announcement says, following the siren. “This is a test of the outdoor warning system. This is only a test.”
Buddy, I do not care if this is the S.A.T. What the hell do we need that siren for? Isn’t your monotonous voice terrifying the citizenry enough? You’ve also got to blast this shrill ululation directly into my brain when I’m trying to work?
When the Huns invade, please, by all means, blow your horn. Until then, Little Boy Blue, put a lid on it and let the rest of us write in peace.