Monthly Archives: December 2007
Free wig and wig-outs
It’s important to package your gifts not only with attractive wrapping, but with a catchy slogan. In stores they might use something like “Free gift with purchase!” Personally, I’m going with “free hair with tape.” Yes, customers and valued friends, for a limited time only, every piece of tape on every package you receive from … Continue reading
Six December Stories
It is December, the holiday month, and outside the weather is cold and drizzly and sometimes there is a snowstorm. (Never mind that it is sunny with blue skies and a temperate breeze actually. In my head there is snow.) When it’s cold and grey outside, and all you want to do is stay wrapped … Continue reading
Working from home: the regrets
See Part 1, Working from home: the recipes. In retrospect, cheddar cheese and lettuce are not going to taste good with soy sauce no matter what they’re wrapped in.
Pre-coffee, spoiling for a fight
ME: Why is the internet so slow? GENE: Here, I can fix that. ME: Can you move this light? GENE: [Moves heavy light the requisite one foot.] ME: Why didn’t my email forward right? What is wrong? GENE: I’ll take a look. ME: Stupid Gmail. Stupid computer. I hate this fucking computer! GENE: Click “show … Continue reading
What’s so wrong with unicorns, anyway?
Why aren’t fantasy novels respectable? This is probably a stupid question that will be answered using the word “unicorn” a lot. But seriously, why not? I know there are more than a lot of badly-written fantasy books out there, but the same is true for standard fiction. And doesn’t it speak highly for an author’s … Continue reading
Little sheep dolls
I’ve inherited a creche from my grandmother, it seems. She died more than a decade ago and since then it’s been mouldering in one of my parents’ closets. However, this year I’ve been struck with holiday fever and when I asked about it the Moms was only too eager to get it out of her … Continue reading