February 27, 2007
Stupid gender norms
Four days ago I started a nightly moisturizing routine like girls are supposed to do to ward off old lady wrinkles. Today I woke up and the skin around my mouth felt burned. It's broken out into all kinds of tiny blisters and blemishes, not bad enough to make people stare on the street, but painful. Stupid lotion. This is how it always goes when I try to be girly. I wear mascara, I poke myself in the eye. I buy high heels, I trip over my own feet. I give up, okay? From now on I'm one of the boys.
Posted by didofoot at 10:36 AM | Comments (8)
February 24, 2007
Cement Horizon Party
We've got tulips, a sheet cake, possibly weird jello shots, clean white hand towels, dust under the rug, a greeting card shaped like a pig, a dictionary from 1920, mixers, limes and a Wonder Woman action figure.
So come on down.
The party starts at 8, the making out starts at 9, and by 11 we will be singing Auld Lang Syne. It's all happening at our place, and if you don't know where that is you can email rsvp at cementhorizon.com, or just contact me.
BYOB, BYO friends if you want, or just BYOurself. All ages welcome, but you must be this tall.
Posted by didofoot at 02:18 PM | Comments (7)
February 20, 2007
The host may become infectious...
I caught the hosting bug sometime in December and it's been lingering ever since. Echinacea and Vitamin C don't even touch it -- I've been expelling fluids (mainly wine and beer) and coughing up the occasional dinner party for months.
After we had five people over last night, I finally decided to call the advice nurse at Kaiser. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
Nurse: So what seems to be the trouble today?
Me: It's kind of embarrassing, but...I've been hosting a lot.
Nurse: I'm sorry, you've been what?
Me: Hosting. Since December.
Nurse: I don't think I'm familiar with this term, can you describe your symptoms for me?
Me: Ok, so back in December a good friend of ours came to town. We started hosting a lot of events so everyone would get to see him while he was here.
Nurse: ...Ok.
Me: But then he left, and we just kept on hosting.
Nurse: And this is a medical problem?
Me: See, it's not like it's painful. Actually I love it. It's great to have our friends around a lot.
Nurse: Riiiight...
Me: But I worry that it's not normal. You know, like a meth addiction probably feels pretty good too at first, but it's not necessarily a healthy thing.
Nurse: And has meth been involved?
Me: No, no. That was a simile. It's been mostly dinner parties and an occasional evening of board games.
Nurse: I'm getting the feeling that what you're talking about isn't, strictly speaking, a medical issue.
Me: You don't think so?
Nurse: No.
Me: So I shouldn't worry?
Nurse: The only thing I can think of is maybe you could become stressed by all your entertaining. Or maybe there could be some physical wear and tear. Have you been cleaning the house much?
Me: Cleaning?
Nurse: You know, light cleaning? Sweeping the floors, scrubbing the sink, making the bed? Before guests come over.
Me: No, not ever.
Nurse: No cleaning of any kind?
Me: No way.
Nurse: Ok, I don't think you have anything to worry about. You can keep on hosting.
Me: Awesome.
Nurse: Your guests might have something to say about the state of the house, though. Especially if they have dust allergies.
Me: Yeah. I'll have them call you if anyone starts wheezing.
Nurse: Sounds good. Thanks for calling Kaiser.
And speaking of hosting, here's my last pitch for this here party:
WHAT: The Cement Horizon Birthday Bash
WHEN: Saturday, February 24, starting at 8 pm.
WHERE: Our apartment in San Francisco. Send an email to rsvp at cementhorizon.com for the complete address, if you don't already know it.
Posted by didofoot at 01:48 PM | Comments (0)
February 15, 2007
A pre-emptive strike
"I really hate that ice cream you bought," the Lad told me last night.
"Yeah," I said, "but it's not coffee flavored like we thought; I checked."
"What flavor is it?"
"It's mocha flavored," I said, and for the next few seconds I was treated to one of the Lad's rare 'you're so stupid I'm stunned' silences. "Mocha is coffee," he said finally.
"...Oh," I said. "Hey! You better not tell anyone I said that! Do you promise? You have to promise."
And since he wouldn't promise, here we are.
Posted by didofoot at 09:18 AM | Comments (1)
February 14, 2007
I'll stake my Pulitzer on it!
I attended a meeting of the Dog Advisory Committee last night for an article I'm writing. They were meeting to discuss the possibility of starting a timed use program in some of SF's city parks. Timed use means that during some hours of the day (usually very early morning and late evening), owners can let their dogs play off-leash in the park.
It's controversial -- the question of dog shit alone took up a good part of the meeting, and how many meetings can you say that about? -- and I'm not sure what I think about it. What I did love was seeing how many members of the public showed up to speak at the meeting.
I grew up in the suburbs with a huge backyard and swimming pool, and my parents still live in that house, so for my whole life I've used that yard as my primary means of outdoor recreation. Even now, when I want to spend the day outside, I BART to the east and hang out by the pool. So it's a perspective shift for me to think of city parks as being a vital thing for people.
Last night I was surrounded by parents, dog owners, old ladies who walk for their health, a guidedog trainer and professional dog walkers, all of whom had turned out to fight for what is essentially their yard. And call me a sap, but it was kind of heartwarming to see proof that SF does have actual communities of people who recreate together and gather in big chilly auditoriums to argue with each other and make each other laugh with snarky comments and get mad at each other for just not seeing my point at all, darn it. It made me want to go out and use the parks regularly so I, too, can be indignant and vociferous and just present in this city.
I don't really have a point here; any points I have are being saved for the article. But it was a neat experience.
Posted by didofoot at 12:14 PM | Comments (2)
February 13, 2007
The biggest difference between working in an office and working from home is...
I use my federally-mandated fifteen minute break to take a shower.
Posted by didofoot at 04:20 PM | Comments (1)
February 12, 2007
C is for Cement Horizon's birthday, and Cement Horizon's birthday is for you!
"So, you're inviting a bunch of strangers into your house?" a friend recently asked me.
"That's right," I said.
"Aren't you worried people will steal things?" she asked. We both looked around for a minute. "No," we agreed. In fact, there are certain things I'm sort of hoping people will steal, like the pheasant-print loveseat the Lad refuses to get rid of.
"Well, aren't you worried people will take your underwear and a lock of your hair and bring it back to their Carthage shrines?" she asked. Friends, I'll tell you what I told her: that would be awesome. I've never had a stalker before, and if you want to be the first I will be nothing but flattered.
So, for you proto-stalkers out there, and you regular folks too, here once again is the 411 on the website birthday party of the century:
Q: WHEN IS IT?
A: Saturday, February 24, starting at 8 pm.
Q: WHERE IS IT?
A: Our apartment in San Francisco. Send an email to rsvp@cementhorizon.com for the complete address, if you don't already know it.
Q: WHAT SHOULD I BRING?
A: Your own drinks, because man cannot live on Cement Horizon-themed jello shots alone.
Q: WILL THERE BE PUPPETS?
A: If puppets are desired, BYO Puppet.
Q: WILL IT BE MORE OR LESS FUN THAN THE NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY?
A: The photo booth will be better, there will be a chocolate fountain, and this time the go-go dancers will perform naked. I predict this will be even better than New Year's.
Posted by didofoot at 10:56 AM | Comments (2)
February 08, 2007
Happy birthday, Michele!
Here's to one foxy lady. Happy birthday from me and the entire animal kingdom!
Posted by didofoot at 09:00 AM | Comments (10)
February 07, 2007
An inconvenient, embarrassingly small truth
Apparently, San Francisco is part of a global trend of shrinking cities now being studied at Cal. "The shrinkage forces at play include swift economic change, declining birth rates and smaller households," the Chron explains.
Imagine what kind of shrinkage we're going to have when global warming covers half the city in cold, cold water.
Posted by didofoot at 09:02 AM | Comments (3)
February 01, 2007
Birthday Party
When we were living in Seattle in 1999, I came home from work one day to find the Lad bent over several pieces of paper covered in elaborate charts. It looked sort of like a giant family tree, but he explained that he was actually designing a webpage. The design was finished three years later, and became the site we know as Cementhorizon.
Cementhorizon will be five years old this month, and we're going to party like it's 1999. You're all invited: the people I know, the people I don't, the people who read this regularly, and the people who stumbled across me while looking for stories about hot librarians. Ex-boyfriends, sworn enemies, people from high school who don't really remember me...if you read my site I want to meet you. And if I've already met you I want to hang out with you. And if I've already met you and slept with you...that will be awkward. But fun!
PARTY TALK:
BYOB. We'll be providing NOTHING to drink, not even mixers. You've been warned.
WHEN: Saturday, February 24, starting at 8 pm.
WHERE: San Francisco. Send an email to rsvp@cementhorizon.com for the complete address.
WHAT CAN I EXPECT?
-Photo booth: get a picture taken with your favorite blogger
-Cementhorizon-themed jello shots provided by Michele
-Spontaneous rhyming toasts by Sean
Stay tuned for more highlights as the party approaches.
Posted by didofoot at 11:07 AM | Comments (8)
