“So, you’re inviting a bunch of strangers into your house?” a friend recently asked me.
“That’s right,” I said.
“Aren’t you worried people will steal things?” she asked. We both looked around for a minute. “No,” we agreed. In fact, there are certain things I’m sort of hoping people will steal, like the pheasant-print loveseat the Lad refuses to get rid of.
“Well, aren’t you worried people will take your underwear and a lock of your hair and bring it back to their Carthage shrines?” she asked. Friends, I’ll tell you what I told her: that would be awesome. I’ve never had a stalker before, and if you want to be the first I will be nothing but flattered.
So, for you proto-stalkers out there, and you regular folks too, here once again is the 411 on the website birthday party of the century:
Q: WHEN IS IT?
A: Saturday, February 24, starting at 8 pm.
Q: WHERE IS IT?
A: Our apartment in San Francisco. Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org for the complete address, if you don’t already know it.
Q: WHAT SHOULD I BRING?
A: Your own drinks, because man cannot live on Cement Horizon-themed jello shots alone.
Q: WILL THERE BE PUPPETS?
A: If puppets are desired, BYO Puppet.
Q: WILL IT BE MORE OR LESS FUN THAN THE NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY?
A: The photo booth will be better, there will be a chocolate fountain, and this time the go-go dancers will perform naked. I predict this will be even better than New Year’s.