Four days ago I started a nightly moisturizing routine like girls are supposed to do to ward off old lady wrinkles. Today I woke up and the skin around my mouth felt burned. It’s broken out into all kinds of tiny blisters and blemishes, not bad enough to make people stare on the street, but painful. Stupid lotion. This is how it always goes when I try to be girly. I wear mascara, I poke myself in the eye. I buy high heels, I trip over my own feet. I give up, okay? From now on I’m one of the boys.