Author Archives: didofoot
And he won’t come out (still)
Since writing my poem about the pantry, I’ve had a lot of people come to the house, walk into the kitchen, blink once and say “Oh. He really is in the pantry.” Yes. Gene’s computer is set up in the tiny nook in the kitchen where we previously kept the garbage. The fruit basket hangs … Continue reading
Marzipan
Buffy: That’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo! Gene: What does that mean? Me: She’s a robot. Gene: I KNEW it! Me: No, not normally. Just in this episode Buffy is a robot. Gene: Oh. Me: Silly bingo.
Book sale
The San Francisco Library Book Sale is coming up next week, and I have cleared my “pending” shelf in preparation. Even so, we’re almost out of book room in this apartment. I’ve filled the shelf on my nightstand, moved all my photo albums into my closet to make room, I’m using the end tables…if I … Continue reading
I learned how to get along
I am writing an article about a rally being held just outside my house. I was all set to start my article when they started singing “I Will Survive.” Now I cannot stop singing “I Will Survive” in the style of Cake,* tapping my nails against the keyboard and grooving my head around. I wish … Continue reading
Based on a true story
I was tired of my workspace being darkened like a cave And of working in the gloaming like a dank and musty grave So I threw my hands into the air and gave a mighty shout And now Gene is in the pantry and he won’t come out. We used to share the table in … Continue reading
Call for novels
I’ve been out of books for about a week now and I’m grouchy as a bear at a baiting. My similes are also suffering. Does anyone have a book to recommend? I don’t care what genre, as long as it’s totally engrossing. And ideally not too gross; no Brief Interviews With Hideous Men. (Side note: … Continue reading
Smile
It’s eight a.m. I just called the Human Rights Watch to try and interview someone there about an upcoming immigrant rights summit, but the office doesn’t open until nine so I got the main voicemail. I listened to the patient, fresh-voiced recording of the receptionist as she carefully listed each name and extension, and I … Continue reading
Pam and Jim leads to Pimm’s
After years of resisting it because it felt too real, I’ve finally come around to The Office. I guess I have enough distance from that life now that I can laugh at it. I recently watched a bunch of episodes (all in one evening but we don’t need to go into that) and now I … Continue reading
Phone interview with politico organization
“…And we’ve been working on the Uniting American Families Act.” “Great name, by the way.” “Yeah?” “Sure. It’s got the words ‘American’ and ‘families’ in it. Hey, I like those things! I’ll vote for it!” “…” “Sorry. That bitterness was directed at the voting public, not at you. I would of course vote for this … Continue reading
Working from home: the recipes
PB&J Burrito Ingredients: 1 flour tortilla (spinach tortilla not recommended) smooth peanut butter blackberry jam Instructions: Spread peanut butter and jam on tortilla. Roll. Eat. Disgustingness stars: three of five Satisfies hunger? Yes. Recommended? No.