Call for novels

I’ve been out of books for about a week now and I’m grouchy as a bear at a baiting. My similes are also suffering.

Does anyone have a book to recommend? I don’t care what genre, as long as it’s totally engrossing. And ideally not too gross; no Brief Interviews With Hideous Men. (Side note: it looks like Jim from The Office is writing and directing an adaptation of that. If I didn’t hate the book so much I’d be really excited. I’m still kind of excited.)

Gene will be gone this weekend, and unless I have to go to an all-day immigrant rights summit I will have nothing to do but lie around and read. If only I had anything to read. Help!