Author Archives: didofoot
Gumball
I went to the beach with my parents today. Always a delight to watch them together. After years of practice, they operate in perfect synchronization even when arguing. When I was young, I assumed I was the purpose of this two-part machine, but now that I’m grown up it’s clear that the machine exists for … Continue reading
Rilke Schmilke
If every angel is terrifying then what word is left to describe my zit?
Glasses
While waiting for the light to change, I saw an archer coming down Church Street in full regalia. He carried a longbow and a quiver of arrows, and wore a leather ensemble worthy of Robin Hood. I stood grinning and watching, watching and grinning, wondering why no one else was looking twice. He walked behind … Continue reading
A Nite Out
There’s a banner in the Castro Street station that advises people to visit the San Francisco Ballet for what the banner calls “A Nite Out!” It’s the ballet. If even the ballet cannot summon the snobbish wherewithal to spell “night” correctly, can there be a corner of this texting, chattering world that is safe for … Continue reading
Perfect strangers?
Am I the only one who’s always imagined that Baz Luhrmann looks like Balki Bartokomous? Because of this, I have a warm place in my heart for Luhrmann’s movies, even the bad ones. You can picture him walking down the red carpet at the Moulin Rouge premiere and pausing to do the dance of joy. … Continue reading
Yesterday
Gene opens the freezer and immediately closes it again, making a weird part-amused and part-horrified exhalation which I have never heard him make before. I open the freezer, where Michele has deposited a can of coffee her mom didn’t want. On the can, Michele has thoughtfully taped a picture of dreamboat Rob Pattinson. “He’s everywhere,” … Continue reading
Bar fights in my sleep
Why do I have all these scabs on my knuckles all the time? Do I go out and get into bar fights in my sleep? Can’t tie myself to the bed before sleeping because no bedposts. A problem.
Rats
Last night, walking down Powell Street, I saw an enormous rat on the sidewalk. He was peacefully weaving in between the commuters, sniffling around a lamppost like it was a quiet Sunday morning. How desperate does a sewer rat need to be to come out in search of food amongst all those people? I guess … Continue reading
Die with a T
I lost a little weight on our trip, god knows how, and since then have been indulging in a diet rich in salads and lean meats rather than my previous diet of cheese, chocolate and bread. I’m curious to know whether I can get back down to the weight I was when I started high … Continue reading
“The world has changed, and we must change with it.”
Yes we can! Except sometimes the camera catches him from the side or the back and I still think, “Wait, who’s that kid? Why are we watching him?” But then he turns around and I go, “Oh yeah, President!” It’s going to take some time to get used to someone this young being in charge. … Continue reading