Monthly Archives: December 2009
Elephant
A new neighbor moved in recently and it’s becoming a real problem for me, because the “neighbor” is actually a spider the size of my finger and I am not a petite-handed woman. It lives on the landing outside our back door and initially built its web across the entire stairwell so I had to … Continue reading
Whoadamn, my man can dress.
Apparently, there is now an alternative to inch-thick Carhartt pants in our house. Ladies and gents, I present my future husband: I had to buy fancy new shoes just to keep up: More and higher quality shots here.
Stripes forever
While her father was busy, the little girl behind me on MUNI occupied herself by gently patting my dress between the shoulder blades and muttering “stwiiiipes, stwiiiipes,” over and over. It was almost too adorable to bear. It may also be worth noting that my dress was not striped.
Victory
Eventually, every bride has to come face to face with one grim fact: party planning blows. When that happens, there is tulle. Is it a fabric? Is it a trim? Is it the perfect blindfold for your guests so they can’t see that none of your flowers match? Who cares? Just wrap the whole damn … Continue reading
The Berenstain Bears’ New Baby
We walked along the beach, dodging the incoming tide. “I wonder what I’d do if Molly got swept out by a sleeper wave,” my mom mused. “You’d watch her go,” I said sternly. “Well…I could just go grab her.” “You could just get your feet sucked out from under you by a rip tide and … Continue reading