The conversation we ought to have had:
Gene: Am I not sensitive, clever, well-mannered, considerate, passionate, charming, as kind as I’m handsome and heir to a throne?
Kris: You are everything maidens could wish for!
The conversation we actually had:
Kris: Happy birthday!
Kris: Man, I haven’t dated a guy in his thirties since I was in my teens.
Happy birthday, handsome.